We'll figure it out
She saw the older girl coming towards her, only stopping in her tracks once she had stopped by Krystal’s side. A tired smile was shown Krystal's way, making the younger girl feel slightly guilty about what she was going to tell her sister now.

"Hungry?" Jessica asked and placed one arm around the younger girl’s shoulders. Krystal shook her head no, making Jessica furrow her eyebrows.

"What's bothering you then?" Jessica asked confused.

As expected her sister could see something was wrong without her needing to say anything. She smiled apologetic at the older girl, locking gaze with her sister's.

"I don't wanna do this anymore." Krystal said. She could see the mix of emotions in her sister's eyes. Jessica furrowed her eyebrows, the arm around Krystal’s shoulders slipped off and the younger girl was met with a quizzically look.

"Being an idol?" Jessica asked. Krystal nodded her head. She felt relieved that her sister was quick-witted and got the hang of things quickly.

The younger sister gulped and observed Jessica´s expression. Jessica nodded her head like she understood what she meant, but Krystal could see Jessica had other things bothering her about this matter as well. She waited for Jessica to say or do something.

The older girl sighed and brushed her fingers through her locks, she looked at Krystal with a bitter smile and a small tilt of her head.

"What do you wanna do instead?" Jessica asked after a while.

Krystal gulped. Now it was time for the hard part. The hard announcement. She noticed Jessica had seen her hesitation, and the older girl lost her smile, and a bit of fear showed in Jessica´s eyes. Krystal bit her lower lip, fearing Jessica´s reaction to the next thing she would tell her sister.

"I want to study..." Krystal started. She could see Jessica relaxed some, but she knew the last part of that sentence was going to destroy some of Jessica´s life. "Abroad." She ended and watched how Jessica´s mask broke and her sister´s vulnerability was completely exposed.

She bit her lower lip and continued to observe Jessica that seemed like she had a hard time making out what she had just said. She gave the older girl the time she needed, watched as Jessica brushed her fingers through her hair a few moments, sighed, slump her shoulders, ruffled her hair only to have to straighten it out again, and then she turned towards her like she just had come to understand what Krystal just had said.

"Abroad?" Jessica asked, and Krystal heard it was no longer Jessica-understanding-sister-Jung that spoke. It was Jung-overprotective-older-sister-Sooyeon who was speaking. Krystal nodded her head and watched as Jessica sighed and brushed her fingers through her hair again, probably trying to go back to being the understanding sister again, but Krystal could see Jessica had realized the reality of what it would mean if Krystal went abroad, and she knew Jessica would have a hard time accepting that.

"Unnie won´t be there...you know." Jessica said and looked at Krystal with a pained expression. Krystal had to fight the urge to wrap the older girl in a hug. She didn´t want her to be in pain like this, and she shouldn´t need to, but Jessica was, Jessica was pained and scared, and all because of her, and Krystal knew Jessica wouldn´t have been like this if she hadn´t seen her suffer.

Krystal closed her eyes, thinking back to when her idol days had been really, really hard. It had been so hard, and the public had been so harsh towards her. It had been too much, too much and she had just wanted it all to end. And it almost had, she had been so close. But she had woken up, in the protective arms of her sister, to her name being whispered so softly, so desperately. The pained look on Jessica’s face she had seen there had made her regret her decision, but Jessica had never voiced her feeling about it, she had just showered her with love, understanding and caring and had helped her up on her feet again.

And after that day Jessica had never let her go. The older sister had always kept an eye on her, always made sure she was okay, always made sure that she was hugged a bit longer when she needed. Jessica had always been there after that.

And Krystal knew going abroad will make it hard for Jessica to be there. She had a feeling she would be fine, but she had doubts about whether Jessica would make it without being able to take care of her and be there when she needed.

She knew Jessica needed that kind of control. The control to make sure she was okay. To make sure she got to eat. Make sure nothing would bring her down like that ever again.

But being in different countries would make that difficult for Jessica.

"I know." She replied after seconds of silence between them. Jessica looked relieved but the pain was still there, and Krystal wanted nothing but to take it away in some way. "But unnie...I think I´ll be fine." She said. She could see the inner protest Jessica was keeping inside of her. She wasn´t sure if she was happy the older girl wasn´t arguing against her or not, but she didn´t say anything and waited for Jessica to get her mind together and come up with something to say.

Jessica gulped and she opened her mouth. Her lower lip was trembling, Krystal noted. She thought Jessica had gone paler, and she feared that Jessica might even faint.

“I have my work here…I won’t be able to see you every day.” Jessica’s voice cracked. And that was enough for Krystal. She wrapped her arms around the older girl, hugged her tighter, feeling Jessica hugging her back so tight she had it slightly hard to breathe.

“I know unnie. But I don’t want you to leave your work. I want you to continue living your life, even if I’m abroad.” Krystal whispered into Jessica’s ear.

She felt the older girl took a deep inhale. Jessica’s nails scraped the skin of Krystal’s back when she clutched the shirt she was wearing, and Krystal didn’t move or say anything and just let her sister hold on to her.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Jessica spoke and Krystal realized her older sister was crying. It pained her that she had made her sister like this. She took a deep breath, trying to brace herself against her own tears.

“Soojung-ah…I almost lost you once. I don’t want to lose you again. You’re too important…” Jessica cried. Krystal gulped. She tried hard to fight her own tears, and so she hugged Jessica a little tighter. Hoping the familiar warmth and smell of her sister could calm her down a bit.

“I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I let myself lose you…” Jessica later added. And it was all it took for Krystal’s dam to break. The tears run freely down her cheeks, and she realized her decision wasn’t so easy anymore. It wouldn’t be easy for her or for her sister to be away from each other.

A sniffled escaped her lips and she felt Jessica tense in her arms. She panicked when she had revealed she was crying and when she felt Jessica tried to pull away from her she was hesitant, but she soon let Jessica pull away from her enough to look her in the face.

Her eyebrows furrowed and she was biting her lip in guilt when she met Jessica’s concerned eyes. Jessica too had tears streaming down her eyes, and her face still showed the pain the girl was probably feeling inside.

“It’s going to be hard…” Jessica mumbled and Krystal felt Jessica wipe away the tears on her cheeks. She closed her eyes at the comforting feeling. She felt Jessica cup her face and she was pulled down so the older girl could kiss her forehead.

“I’ll still let you go. If that’s what you want, I’ll support you.” Jessica mumbled. Krystal just nodded her head, fearing her voice would fail her if she spoke. She saw Jessica smiling bitterly at her, she tilted her head to the side.

“You grow too fast for me.” Jessica suddenly said. Krystal blinked surprised by her sister’s statement and it brought a wider smile to Jessica’s lips. “You grow, and you want to do new things. I know I can’t be stuck to you forever, I know that one day I have to let you go to let you walk your own path.” Jessica whispered and looked down at Krystal’s shirt, fixing it a bit like it would work as a distraction.

Jessica looked up and met the younger girl’s gaze. And Krystal swore this had been the worst thing she had done in her entire life. She felt more tears stream down her eyes, it brought a sorrowful expression to Jessica’s face.

“Hey…don’t cry. If you want to go, go then. I knew you didn’t like the entertainment industry. I know it has been difficult for you for the past years. We’ll work it out. Unnie will buy a private jet so she can come see you whenever she has time.” Jessica said.

The last part brought a smile to Krystal’s lips and Jessica seemed to get relieved when she had lightened up the younger girl’s mood again.

“Will you learn how to fly a plane as well?” Krystal joked. It brought a bigger smiled to Jessica’s lips, and Krystal felt she as being pulled closer to the older girl.

“Of course. Your unnie can do anything when she puts her mind to it.” Jessica said.

Krystal smiled and felt Jessica wipe away the remaining tears on her cheeks before she was pulled closer to the older girl. She felt Jessica sigh and the arms around Krystal’s waist tightened.

“We’ll figure it out. If you want to go we’ll figure it out.” Jessica mumbled.

And Krystal trusted her; because her sister always managed do fix things somehow.


A lot like home
Eyes flickered from the passing scenery outside the window to the girl seated next to her in the moving van. Her eyebrow raised as she took in how the girl was looking from the window, to her phone, to the window, fidgeted a bit with her fingers, bit her lip, looked at the phone again, and it all repeated itself again.

Jessica knew this wasn’t the normal way her younger sister acted. Krystal Jung rarely showed nervousness or anxiousness. So this behavior picked on Jessica’s interest, and a bit on Jessica’s protective side. What made her sister so anxious?

“Soojung-ah.” Jessica called the younger girl, and the way Krystal snapped her head towards her made her wonder if Krystal neck got hurt from how fast she moved her head. She refrained from asking and instead took her time eyeing her panicked sister’s eyes.

“Is something wrong?” Jessica asked and followed Krystal’s gaze down to the younger girl’s phone. “You’re all…fidgety.” Jessica said.

“Ah…” Krystal looked up from her phone and met Jessica’s concerned expression. She smiled apologetic at the older girl and leaned back in her seat. “It’s nothing…it’s just…my stomach is a bit upset.” Krystal admitted.

Jessica’s eyebrows rose in surprise. She blinked and continued to stare at her sister as her mind went through the day’s events, going through every little thing her sister had eaten and drunk to see what it was that could have caused her sister this discomfort.

A tap to her knee stopped her thoughts and she blinked and saw Krystal was trying to get her attention. She realized she must have spaced out, like always, and so she looked quizzically at her, waiting for the girl to say what she wanted.

“It’s okay, unnie. I’ll deal with it once we get to the studio. I’m sure there’s some medication lying around there. Otherwise I’ll just get manager oppa to buy it for me.” Krystal assured the older girl.

Jessica had to refrain herself from telling her manager who was driving to turn around and drive to the nearest pharmacy instead. But looking at Krystal’s assuring eyes it calmed her a bit and she leaned back in her seat and made a mental note that the first thing they would do was to find some medicine for her sister.

A sigh escaped her lips, she returned the smile her sister smiled at her before she turned back to the window, continuing watching the passing scenery. Her mind wandered again, back to medicine and upset stomachs, and she began to wonder about another person who usually suffered from an upset stomach.

Thinking about that person made her think about another person, which led her to think of a third person, and now Jessica was wondering how all these eight people were doing and…why haven’t they contacted her yet?

Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked down on her phone, unlocking the screen and opening the text messages. The last one she had sent had been to her fellow American-Korean friend, the reply she had gotten back had assured her that everything was fine with the girl despite everything that had happened and had been revealed of her personal life.

Jessica frowned at the memory. How could the girl be fine when all she had wanted was to keep that small part of her life a secret? Jessica had gotten angry when she had read about the news. Angrier than anyone. She remembered how the girl had assured her it was okay, it was her own fault for not being careful, and she would be fine. She would be able to get through this.

Heck, the girl got through any obstacles in her life. And Jessica wished she could be more of a support for the girl, but the girl was damn stubborn.

Like another girl. A girl Jessica also cared a lot about. Maybe they had influenced each other when they had been roommates? Jessica made a mental note to use that as an argument next time she argues with the two girls.

The van came to a halt and the engine got turned off. Jessica blinked and looked around her, a bit confused as she hadn’t realized they had reached their destination. Her mind remembered the thing she had to do now, and all thoughts about eight girls who she hadn’t seen for a while vanished and she turned to her sister.

Upset stomach. Medicine. Right. Priorities. This was a problem right now and could be solved easily.

She gathered her things and quickly got out of the van after her sister. Right when they got out she hooked her arm with the other girl and began dragging her with her.

Priorities. Her sister was feeling sick and she could actually do something about it, and so she would.

If she was allowed to beat up paparazzies, that was another thing she would do, but she couldn’t, and so that problem had to be put aside. To be dealt with another time. A time when Jessica didn’t have a sister who was acting out of normal.


It’s funny how she had been back for a few hours. She had already managed to scold a manager, and she had also managed to get a headache, and she hadn’t even entered the dance studio yet!

She was annoyed, and tired. And she knew it was a bad combination. And the fact that she had to go through hours of practicing choreographies, loud music and people who are going to point out if she does a wrong step made her feel physically drained.

The time she had taken caring about people had gotten her exhausted and a small part of her regretted that now, but what could she do? She cared about the ones she love, no matter how much she tried not to.

A squeeze to her hand made her turn towards the girl beside her. Gentle brown orbs looked at her, a small smile was on the girl’s lips. It had Jessica smiling and she squeezed the hand back, thinking back to how Krystal had pulled her away from the manager when she found out there was no medicine for Krystal in the building.

The girl had assured her it was okay. But how the heck could she be okay? She had been all fidgety and acted out of normal in the van. Jessica knew the girl wasn’t okay, and she wasn’t going to let her sister go through discomfort because some idiot didn’t keep medicine in the building for the people who actually make the money to run the place.

The thought of it made her blood boil, and she was relieved to see the door to the practice room. She could use it to blow off some steam. Maybe she should call one of the girls and complain about the company? She knew one of them would gladly listen.

Her hand reached out towards the doorknob, a tired sigh escaped her lips and she entered the room. A ‘pang’ and Jessica almost fell down to the floor buy how started she had gotten buy the sound. The light was turned on, the previous silent room was filled with song, and she was staring at a bunch of people she hadn’t expected to see now.

“Happy birthday Jessica!”

Her members. Park Minyoung. Back up dancers. Manger oppas and unnies. The sight of all of them greeting her with a smile brought tears to her eyes. She turned to her sister, a sheepish smile was on Krystal’s lips and then she realized it.

Krystal had never been sick. The upset stomach had been a cover up for this to happen. Jessica inwardly sighed. She should have figured it out. But she had completely forgotten about her birthday with everything that had happened.

“Hey, why is the birthday girl crying?” Two pair of arms enveloped her in a hug. And soon she felt eight familiar bodies surrounding her. Some patted her head, some wiped the tears that was running down her cheeks. A kiss landed on her temple. It was just so overwhelming. She had been so annoyed and angry before, and now this happens. It was just a bunch of mixed emotions.

“Yah, blow out the candles, I’m getting tired of holding the cake!” Jessica blinked away some tears from her eyes when she turned to Park Minyonug. Her favorite unnie. She smiled apologetically at the older girl and finally blew out the candles.

“Yay! Let’s eat some cake!” Hyoyeon cheered cheerfully and Jessica felt a small tug at her heart when she remembered what the girl had had to go through in the beginning of this month. She began to wonder how the girl managed to stay so positive.

“What’s with the gloomy look, huh?” She heard someone ask beside her, a small poke to her shoulder made her turn towards the person, and she got met with a pair of concerned brown orbs. She felt her eyes fill with tears again, and she saw the concern got mixed with panic.

“I’m just…I’ve been so worried about you guys.” Jessica sniffled.

The room grew silent, and Jessica felt a wave of nostalgia as this brought her back to the times she had said something and the room had grew cold. The birth of the sica-effect. She looked around, had she done that again?

She saw her members exchanging looks with each other. It gnawed at her. Had she said something wrong? Couldn’t she voice her worries? She sniffled again and wiped her tears. A arm was placed around her shoulders, it made her look up at the person who had initiated the contact, and soon she was enveloped in a hug.

“Why are you worrying about us?” Tiffany whispered into her ear. Jessica felt more tears stream down her cheeks, gosh, why was she crying so much? Was it because she was tired?

Jessica gulped and sniffled before she clutched to Tiffany’s shirt.

“It’s just…so many things are happening to you guys. And I don’t like seeing you hurt.” Jessica cried. She felt Tiffany hug her tighter, and someone came up behind her and wrapped their arms around her waist. She sniffled again, and she stood there, being hugged by two of her members, on her birthday.

Tiffany pulled away from the hug. Jessica felt the girl wiped her tears, someone beside her handed Tiffany a napkin and the girl started wiping her tear stained face with that instead.

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. I think that saying goes good with us.” Tiffany said and beamed a smile her way. Jessica blinked. She sniffled and felt her nose had gotten clogged.


“Here, blow your nose.” Tiffany looked amused as she handed her a napkin, and Jessica couldn’t help it, she rolled her eyes and took the napkin from the girl.

She blew her nose, in a very unlady like manner. A manner she would most probably had gotten scolded for if she had done it in public. But the adoring looks she got from the people around her when she wiped her nose made her think that they all liked this side of her.

She managed to muster up a smile and she turned to Tiffany again, her smile began to widen and he reached her hand out towards the girl, with the used napkin in hand. Tiffany grimaced and shook her head.

“It might be your birthday but I’m not going to throw away your boogers.” Tiffany said.

The people around them began to laugh, Jessica pouted at the younger girl. The atmosphere had lightened up, and she didn’t feel so heavy hearted any more. She was feeling happy, and light, and she was up for…

Her eyes scanned the room. Her eyes landing on Sunny, Krystal, Yoona, Sooyoung, Hyoyeon, Taeyeon, Yuri, Tiffany and finally her eyes landed on what she had been looking for. Her lips curved upwards and she happily skipped over to the maknae of Girls’ Generation.

“Cake!” Jessica cheered, startling the younger girl who was now holding the cake.

She got a smile in return from the younger girl and she held out the cake for her. It looked delicious, and they had actually spelled her name right this year. A sheepish smile appeared on her lips and she glanced to her left when she felt someone approaching. The cake maker of last year was by her side, and it gave her a good opportunity to point it out.

“Did you learn how to spell my name now?” Jessica asked.

Taeyeon smiled back at her. “I had to teach the baker how to spell your name this year.” Taeyeon said.

“Oooh.” Jessica faked amazement.

She saw Taeyeon smile and the older girl handed her something to slice the cake with.

“Let’s eat the cake now.” Taeyeon said.

Jessica grinned and took the cake slicer from the girl and turned to the cake Seohyun was holding. She met the younger girl’s gaze, seeing her smiling at her and Jessica broke out into a wider smile.

“Who wants the first piece?” Jessica asked and turned to the people surrounding them.

Hands flew up into the air followed by chorus of ‘me’. She grinned by the reaction and turned back to the cake.

“Okay, the first piece is for me.” She said.


“Why would you ask if you were going to give yourself the first piece?”

“Unnie I’m hungry!”

Jessica continued to grin when the people around her began to complain. This felt a lot like home to her, and she wouldn’t spend her birthday in any other way than this.

How to cure boredom
A sigh left the young woman’s lips as she stared up at the white ceiling of her bedroom. An arm was raised, placed over her head and she continued to stare while seconds ticked by.

A frown appeared on her lips. Her inability to not being able to sleep now when she had the chance to was strange, and it was also bothering her. But most of all it made her feel bored as she had nothing better to do right now than to sleep.

Another puff of air escaped her lips and she reached out towards her phone which was resting on her stomach. She lifted up the device, unlocked the screen, found the chat room she had been the last one to write something in out of her group members.

No one had replied. Which meant all eight girls must be busy. A frown appeared on her lips, and she noticed her sister hadn’t replied to her text either, which meant that the younger girl must also be busy.

A pout appeared and she rolled onto her stomach as she began skimming through all images she had taken. She found it rather funny that the moment she was unable to sleep and had nothing to do everyone she knew was busy. A sigh escaped her lips once more and she rolled onto her back again.

After a few push of buttons on the phone she reached it out at an arm’s length. Her silent room was filled with the sound of a camera shutter and she brought the device closer to her to check on the photo she had snapped.

Satisfied with the photo she first uploaded it in the chat room with her group members, afterwards she opened another app to upload it so the whole world could see. Her fingers skimmed over the buttons as she typed a caption for the photo before she uploaded it.

A tired sigh escaped her lips and she placed her phone to the side and resumed staring up at the ceiling while she waited for some kind of response. Either from her fans, or band members. And right now she didn’t care which one. Anyone that could take her out of this boredom.


The familiar ringtone caught the female’s ears and she looked up from the lyrics her eyes had been glued at for the past minutes. Her eyes landed on the device on the table in front of her, her head making a quick scan of her surroundings before she picked it up.

Her eyes blinked when she saw the picture on her cellphone screen. Soon a small smile appeared on her lips and she typed a reply to the girl who had sent it. Her smile widened when she saw her clever response and she placed her phone to the side.

It didn’t take long until she heard the ringtone again and she picked up the device, getting a bit surprised, and a bit disappointed when she saw someone else had written something in response to what she had said.

Sooyoung: Cheeeesy~

She could almost hear the teasing tone behind the word and a frown appeared on her lips.

Jessica: You’re just jealous~! Thanks Taengoo! But you’re the true goddess out of the two of us!

She felt her cheeks heat up by the words and a wide smile appeared on her lips.

Hyoyeon: Take your flirting elsewhere. I don’t want to throw up!

Jessica: No one asked you to read this!

Hyoyeon: I thought this chatroom was for all of us? Or did I enter one specifically for Taeyeon and Jessica’s flirting?

Jessica: Hah! You wouldn’t be able to handle what me and Taengoo talks about privately ;D

Hyoyeon: Please keep it privately…I’m sure it’s something really byun…considering it’s you two…

Jessica: Yah!

“Taeyeon-sshi!” Her eyes left her phone when she heard her name being called. She immediately discharged her phone and stood up from her seat.

“Yes!” She replied and went over to her stylist that motioned for her to come over.


A frown appeared on her lips when her phone suddenly had become silent. No more messages from her members, and she still hadn’t heard a word from her sister. It meant they must have gotten back to what they had been doing, or are still busy.

A sigh left her lips and she scrolled through the messages in the chatroom, stopping at the one the oldest member had sent, a smile formed on her lips upon reading the words.

Taeyeon: Bare-faced Goddess! ;)

Jessica continued to smile, a content sigh escaped her lips and she let her phone plop down beside her on the bed. Her eyes went up towards the ceiling which she stared at for a few seconds before she felt her eyelids grow heavy and soon drifted close.


She woke up by the sound of her ringtone and something vibrating against her ribs. Her body jolted up, grabbing her phone and fumbled with it a bit before she pressed it against her ear.

“Hello?” Jessica answered and then relaxed when it suddenly struck her she has no schedules and she stressed for no reason. A frown appeared on her lips and her shoulders sagged.

“Were you asleep?” Her eyes widened by the familiar voice and the frown disappeared from her lips.

“Taengoo?” Jessica asked a smile growing on her lips, the tiredness all forgotten.

“I’ve been calling you like ten times. And here I thought I could come over to help you get rid of your boredom…”

Jessica’s eyes widened by the older woman’s words and she quickly scrambled out of her bed.

“You’re here?” Jessica asked and barely managed to put on her slippers as she hurriedly exited her room to go to the front door.

“No, I’m on the other side of the planet, babo…”

Jessica opened the front door and found herself standing face to face with a brunette woman that had her phone pressed to her ear. When the woman realized the front door was open she lowered her phone from her ear, a smile growing on her lips.

“Well, took you long enough to open that door for me.” Taeyeon said a grin forming on her lips. Jessica found her lips also turning upwards and she stepped to the side to let Taeyeon enter.

“Your hair is a mess Sica.” Taeyeon pointed out after she had changed out of her shoes into a pair of slippers. Jessica’s hands flew up to her hair and noticed her bun had gone messy, she blinked and looked at Taeyeon that smiled at her.

“Well, I did fall asleep.” Jessica said a pout forming on her lips.

“But even with messy hair you still look like a goddess.” Taeyeon said her smile widened when she saw Jessica’s cheeks turning pink.

Jessica watched as Taeyeon entered her home. The older woman had been here so many times she knew the place like it was her own. But then, so was the case with most of the Girls’ Generation members.

“Is Soojung home?” Taeyeon asked when they were making their way to Jessica’s room.

“No, she has a late schedule.” Jessica said. Taeyeon nodded her head.

“No wonder you were bored.” Taeyeon said with a grin and turned to her. A pout appeared on Jessica’s lips and she lightly hit the older woman that began laughing.

“I thought you came here to help me with that.” Jessica said.

“I did.” Taeyeon said and entered Jessica’s room. Jessica watched as Taeyeon crawled up on her bed and patted the space beside her to tell her to join her. And when it comes to getting in bed Jessica didn’t need to be asked twice and gladly joined Taeyeon.

“So, how do you cure boredom?” Jessica asked and looked at the older woman.

“Hmm…” Taeyeon looked thoughtful for a second, glancing at the younger woman with a smile before she turned away again. “Well, you’re so picky so it might be difficult finding something that can cure your boredom.”

“Yah!” Jessica lightly bumped her shoulder against Taeyeon’s. The older of the two laughed and she couldn’t help but smile as well. “I’m never bored if I do something with you.” Jessica added and looked down on her fingers.

“Is that so?”


“If you say that, then I have a perfect activity for both of us.”

Jessica looked up from her fingers when she noticed Taeyeon move beside her. Her eyes widened when she saw Taeyeon take off the sweater she was wearing. Her eyes blinked when she saw a smirk form on Taeyeon’s lips when the older woman noticed her staring.

“Sica, you’re staring like this is the first time you’ve seen me undressing.” Taeyeon pointed out. A blush appeared on Jessica’s cheeks and she embarrassed turned away. She heard Taeyeon laugh and it didn’t make her blush better.

“Your ears are even turning red.” Jessica felt a pair of cold hands cup her burning ears and her head was turned back towards Taeyeon. Her brown orbs met with another pair, a shy smile appeared on her lips, and the older woman smiled back at her.

“Do you wanna know what I have in mind?” Taeyeon asked in a whisper. Jessica felt her mouth suddenly had gone dry and she could only nod her head in answer. A small smirk appeared on Taeyeon’s lips and she leaned closer. Jessica felt her heart beat pick up its pace when she noticed the woman getting closer to her.

When she could feel Taeyeon’s lips brush against hers, and her heart felt like it was pounding everywhere in her body, her chest, her throat, her ears, her stomach, everywhere, Taeyeon stopped.

“I think we should sleep.” Taeyeon said her breath brushed against Jessica’s lips. Before Jessica could register what Taeyeon actually had said she felt herself being pushed back, her back landing on the soft mattress of her bed, and a warm body wrapped around her.

Jessica blinked when her brain finally had processed what Taeyeon had said. She would lie if she said she wasn’t disappointed, but a part of her felt like maybe this wasn’t that bad anyway.

“Sleep?” Jessica croaked after a while.

“Mm.” Taeyeon replied beside her. “I just finished my schedules, if you want to do something later we can, but I have to get some sleep first.”

A smile appeared on Jessica’s lips. It wasn’t that bad, considering they could do something else later. She made herself more comfortable in her position, grabbing the duvet and putting it over the two of them before she turned and placed one arm around Taeyeon and drew her closer.

She raised her head up and planted a kiss on Taeyeon’s cheek. She saw a blush appear on the older woman’s cheeks, and she felt satisfied with her action.

“Call Hyo and tell her how cheesy we are.” Taeyeon suddenly mumbled.

“She’s going to hang up on me.” Jessica said with a smile.

“Maybe so.” Taeyeon mumbled, her breathing becoming more even and her body growing more relaxed. “She won’t find out how to cure boredom.” Taeyeon mumbled before she finally succumbed to sleep. Jessica smiled and planted a kiss against Taeyeon’s forehead before she closed her eyes.

“I don’t’ think she wants us to teach her that.” Jessica said even though Taeyeon probably couldn’t hear her. She smiled and felt happy that Taeyeon had come over, and even though they didn’t actually do anything, her boredom had washed away the instant the woman had showed up at her door.

Taeyeon’s presence was the cure to her boredom.


She felt her body sink down into the softness of the mattress on the bed. The duvet soon covered her body from the cold hair in the room. The space behind her got occupied of another body and she could feel the warmth from the body as it got closer to her.

A smile appeared on her lips when she felt an arm wrap around her waist and a nose nuzzled closer at the back of her neck. She could feel the person inhale and exhale through her nose, the breath that bushed against her skin made her shiver.

She turned around in the person’s embrace and came face to face with another woman around the same age as her. The woman’s eyes stared at her, curiosity and anticipation both reflecting in her eyes.

The display of emotions made her smile more and she leaned closer to the woman, closing the distance between them and pressed their lips together. Feeling how it felt just right to kiss those pair of lips, and knowing it was only she that could kiss those pair of lips

“I love you.” It was whispered after they had parted from the kiss.

A smile appeared on her lips again and she leaned closer to place a kiss against the woman’s forehead before replaying “I love you too.”

She could see the woman’s lips turn upwards into a smile. The smile made her heart swell and all her worries and problems were forgotten. It was only her and this woman that existed to her now.

She suddenly remembered their lives, how they were living, who they were and what they had to do and all the responsibilities they had, and her smile instantly disappeared. She could see the smile on the other woman’s lips also faded and she looked a bit puzzled at her.

“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked gently and brought up her hand to her face and caressed her cheek. A small smile appeared on her lips and she leaned in to the hand.

“Our lives.” Taeyeon answered bitterly. She felt the hand on her cheek stopping caressing her and she looked a bit worried at the woman in front of her.

“Let’s not think about that.” Jessica said and continued to caress her cheek. “Let’s just think about you, me and us now.” She added and smiled.

The smile and words comforted her and she tried to put her focus on them instead. Trying to think how relaxing it was just to lie in bed like this, only the two of them and no one else. No sound except of the breathing from the woman before her. She liked it this way; she hoped they could stay like this forever, or at least for a long time.

But she knew that in just a few hours they would be separated by their lives, the other people they had around them and all their responsibilities, and then they wouldn’t be able to be as close as this.

Even though the thought of that made her feel sad and bitter about her life she still wanted to cherish this moment, this rare moment they had on very few occasions. She knew they rarely had time to be alone just the two of them.

She could see the worries on the other Jessica’s face disappear once the gloomy look on hers was gone. It made her smile wider and so she leaned closer to the woman, going slower the closer she got just to be able to take in everything she could of the woman. The way she was breathing, the anticipating and exciting look on her face, how her eyes slightly widened in surprise before she relaxed and proceed to close them and the small blush on her cheeks. She wanted to take in all of that before she finally closed her eyes and felt the soft lips that molded with hers.

When they once again parted she took her time to take in everything of the woman again. The quick heart beat she could feel against her own, the flushed cheeks, the glimmer in the eyes and the content smile Jessica had on her lips.

All that made her feel so happy as she knew it was only for her this woman reacted like this. She felt her heart swell again by the thought, and she leaned closer to the woman to lean her forehead against her. A big smile on her lips as she couldn’t contain the happiness she was feeling at the moment.

When Jessica was happy in her arms all she could do was feeling content and happy. Everything was complete when her life was like this.


Don't let me go
The brunette slowly blinked. Her head felt fuzzy and heavy. She slowly sat up from her lying position on the floor. She shook her head and held her head and tried to remember what had happened to her.

She could only see small flashbacks, and she shook her head as it confused her even more. She slowly stood up from the floor and turned around. The place was at least familiar, she recognized the three seat couch that stood in the middle of the living room, the small coffee table and the TV.

Her eyes went downwards towards the floor. A gasp escaped her lips and she covered her mouth upon seeing the sight. She blinked confused, but everything suddenly made sense, the holes that were in her memory were slowly being filled and she could finally put everything into one piece.


Jessica looked down at her phone for the umpteenth time that day. She frowned when she saw she had not received any messages or any missed calls. She threw the device to the seat beside her on the couch, gave it one last glare before she turned her attention back to her magazine.

She heard the front door open and she looked up at the younger girl that came inside the window. The black haired girl stopped in her tracks upon seeing the older girl on the couch.

“You’re still here?” Krystal asked confused upon seeing Jessica here.

“Yes, Taeyeon hasn’t called me yet.” Jessica said and glanced at the phone beside her.

Krystal looked just as puzzled over the fact as Jessica felt. The two sisters stared at the device beside Jessica like it would make Taeyeon call faster.

“Maybe something came up.” Krystal said and shrugged her shoulders.

“She usually texts me if something comes up.” Jessica said and frowned.

Krystal shrugged her shoulders again. “I don’t know, I’m just saying.” Krystal said and made her way towards her room.

The older sister was left in the living room with the magazine and the cellphone. With a pout on her lips Jessica continued to stare at the cellphone. Still wondering why the girl wouldn’t call her or text her.


Taeyeon blinked confused as she crouched down beside the body that was lying on the floor. She took in the girl’s pale skin, the bluish lips, the blonde hair that framed the girl’s face. Taeyeon gulped. It was her own body she was staring at.

With a trembling hand Taeyeon reached out towards herself, she carefully placed her hand on her body, feeling nothing under her touch. She furrowed her eyebrows and put more pressure on her hand, seeing it go through her body she startled retreated it.

She looked from the motionless body on the floor and then back to her hand. She looked panicked back to her body and brought her hands up to her head to clutch at her hair.

“I’m dead.” Taeyeon mumbled to herself.


A sigh left Jessica’s lips and she picked up the device lying beside her on the couch. Still no messages or phone calls. She frowned and stood up from her seat on the couch and made her way towards her bedroom. Further down the hallway she could hear music coming from a room, and the singing voice of her sister caught her ears. She shook her head by the noisy sound and entered her own bedroom.

Jessica closed the door to her bedroom, closing out the loud music from Krystal’s room in the process. The older of the two sisters heaved a relieved sigh when she couldn’t hear the younger one’s music anymore.

The chestnut haired girl scanned her bedroom. She took in the sight of her bed and started to make her way there. First thing that landed on the bed was her cellphone that she threw before her body landed on the soft mattress.

Her face buried into the soft covers, she opened one eye and looked at the device that lied beside her. Another sigh left her lips and she closed her eyes while letting the muscles in her body relax.

If Taeyeon called her she was sure she would notice, but right now she felt the need to kill time with a nap.


Taeyeon paced around in the living room, she was biting on her nails while glancing occasionally on the body on the floor. She vaguely remembered how she had ended up on the floor, but she couldn’t understand why she had died. She was a healthy twenty four years old woman. What could have possibly happened for her to die?

She stopped pacing and looked at the body on the floor. Her nails were still between her teeth and she couldn’t seem to stop relax. Was there a way for her to get back into her body? Would someone notice that she was dead?

Her eyes left her body to look at the bookshelf. A framed photograph caught her eyes and it made her release the nails she had been biting on and her hand fell down to her side as she stared at the picture. She suddenly remembered what she had been supposed to do. Her head turned and she looked around the living room for the object she had gotten reminded of. Her eyes landed on the coffee table where she saw her cellphone.

Feeling delighted she went over to the device, but when she reached out to grab it. She looked hopefully at the black screen of her iPhone. She tried to unlock the phone but noticed she couldn’t.

“Damn.” She threw the phone on the couch. The phone probably couldn’t feel her touch. She looked angry at the device that lied on the couch. Her hope had been crushed.

A sigh left her being and she looked around the living room. Her eyes landed on the photography again. Her teeth bit down on her lower lip while she tried to figure out what she should do. Coming up with a plan she looked down on the floor on her motionless body.

“I hope this will work.” Taeyeon mumbled and went to the front door. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes and she continued to walk towards the closed door. When she opened her eyes again she found herself standing outside of her apartment.


The brunette girl stirred and she slowly opened her eyes. She brought her hands up to her tired eyes and rubbed them while stretching her body after her nap. She let her hands fall down to the sides of her body and they landed on the cellphone that lied beside her on the bed.

A frown instantly formed on her lips upon seeing the object, but with still some hope of perhaps having missed a phone call or text message while she was sleeping she reached out towards the device and grabbed it.

When she saw no new text messages of missed phone calls she huffed a sigh and let her hand fall down to her side. She felt annoyance start to build up and she glared at the device. Why hasn’t she contacted her yet?

She brought her phone in her view and opened the last text message she had gotten from Taeyeon. It clearly said the girl would contact her about their plans. That was last night. Jessica frowned and started typing a text message to ask what she was doing and sent it before she let her hand with the cellphone in it fall down to the bed again.

Her eyes were fixed at the white ceiling while she waited for the vibration of her phone that would indicate she had gotten a message. It never came and she looked beside her on the bed, only to sit up abruptly when she noticed something she hadn’t seen there before.

A frame with a photograph of her and Taeyeon lied next to her on the bed.

With confused eyes Jessica looked towards her desk where she knew the photograph originally had stood and noticed it was gone. Her eyebrows furrowed and she picked up the frame and looked at it, trying to remember if she had placed it there. Having no memory of it she looked back to her desk.

Maybe Krystal placed it there? Jessica thought with her eyebrows furrowed. No, her sister wouldn’t do such thing.

Maybe I sleepwalked. It sounded strange, as she had never sleepwalked before, but she couldn’t come up with a more reasonable suggestion for how the photography had ended up on her bed.

Or I could’ve just placed it there before but forgot about it. Jessica got out of bed and went over to her desk and placed the frame where it had stood before. She smiled when she looked at the blonde girl in the picture that was staring lovingly into her eyes.

Her eyes went over to the device she had left on the bed. A sigh left her lips and she slowly went over to the bed and picked it up. Still no answer from the girl. She bit down on her lower lip and pressed the call button beside Taeyeon’s name and pressed the cellphone against her ear while listening to the dial tone.

Taeyeon didn’t answer and Jessica finally hung up. She threw the phone onto her bed and crossed her arms while the thought of the girl avoiding her came to her mind. She sighed and turned around towards her desk. The frame she had placed on the desk was now lying down. Her eyes widened by the sight and she went over to the photograph.

She looked to see if the frame was broken, but she found nothing wrong with it and she placed it back into its original position. She shrugged her shoulders and let it go with the thought of that she had placed it on the desk in an unstable position and it had made it fall down. With that left behind she turned around and made her way towards the window.


Taeyeon watched as Jessica walked towards the window and stared out at the scenery outside. She hated how Jessica couldn’t see her, and the girl didn’t seem to understand anything she tried to do.

A sigh left her lips and she looked at Jessica with sorrowful eyes. The girl would probably not even see it even if Jessica was turned towards her.

Taeyeon kept her eyes at the girl by the window, she started to move towards her with hesitant steps, getting even closer and closer to the girl that was oblivious to her presence. She extended her arms and placed them around Jessica’s body. She could see goosebumps forming on Jessica’s arms and the girl shivered. Taeyeon had to look away when she knew that she was making the girl feeling cold.

Jessica suddenly turned around in her embrace and she was standing face to face with the girl. Her eyes widened when she thought Jessica was looking at her, but when Jessica took a step forward and walked right through her those hopes were crushed immediately.

Taeyeon clenched her teeth and closed her hands into fists. The situation was starting to frustrate her. She couldn’t do anything to get noticed.

“Jessica,” She turned around and called the brunette’s name. She could just watch Jessica continue to walk and take a seat on the bed as the girl didn’t show any sign of hearing her.

“Jessica,” Taeyeon followed her and stopped beside where she was sitting. Jessica still didn’t see or notice her.

“Please,” Taeyeon begged when she saw Jessica pick up a book.

“Just notice me already!” Taeyeon shouted.

Jessica still didn’t show that she noticed her and just calmly opened the book and moved to a more comfortable position on the bed and began reading. Taeyeon fell down on her knees on beside the bed, reaching out her hands towards Jessica’s arm and holding it.

“Please, please notice me.” Taeyeon begged with her head bent down.

She noticed Jessica shift and it made Taeyeon look up at the girl on the bed. She noticed Jessica placing her hand where her two hands were holding Jessica’s arm. Her teary eyes widened and she looked up at Jessica’s face and noticed Jessica had her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.


Jessica rubbed her arm as she felt it was cold. She had felt cold when she had been standing by the window, but she guessed some of the chilliness was still left in her. When the cold disappeared she stopped rubbing her arm and went back to read her the book she had picked up.

Her mind left the blonde girl she wondered what was doing and why she didn’t contact and instead got absorbed by the words that told her the story of the characters in the book. Time flown by and she didn’t seemed to notice it as her eyes continued to take in the words that had been interlaced into the story she could take part of.

The only thing that got her to take her eyes away from the book was the sound of keys falling down on the floor. Her eyes snapped towards the set of keys that lied on the floor. Her eyebrows furrowed when she looked at the shiny objects.

Her brown orbs left the keys and looked around the room. She was just as alone as she had been before, but still she could feel like another presence was there with her. The feeling made her slowly closer her book, grab the phone on the bed and make her way towards the keys on the floor. She took in the feeling of the cold metal that now lied in her hand.

With confused eyes Jessica spun around in her room. She suddenly felt like she had to go out, like it was someone calling for her in another place.

She placed the keys in her jean pocket together with her phone and went for her wardrobe to find something she could put over the t-shirt she was wearing.


Jessica had no idea why, but she just had a feeling that she should go to Taeyeon’s home to check on the girl. Taeyeon hadn’t contacted her, and she had tried to contact the girl but without getting an answer. She figured it would be best to go and see what was up with her.

The brunette put her hand inside her pocket and took out the spare key Taeyeon had given her a few months back. Jessica let the key enter the key whole and twisted it and listened to the door unlock. She didn’t think much about it and entered the apartment.

The first thing she noticed was Taeyeon’s shoes that still stood in the hall. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked up from the pair of shoes and let her eyes look down the hallway.

“Taeyeon?” Jessica called.

It was deadly silent and it bugged Jessica slightly. She removed her shoes and started to slowly make her way inside. The first room she went past was the living room. Her eyes immediately noticed the figure on the floor, seeing who it was Jessica’s face went pale.

“Taeyeon!” Jessica went over to the motionless body on the floor. She stopped by her side and cupped Taeyeon’s face and took notice of how cold she was.

“Taeyeon, please, Taeyeon answer me.” Jessica began shaking the body, but without any reply from the girl. Jessica felt tears starting to brim in her eyes, and she quickly took out her cellphone from her pocket, fumbling with the device with her trembling hands and dropping it twice before she finally managed to call emergency and press the device against her ear.

The ambulance would be on their way and Jessica was left with clutching the girl’s hand. Her tears had started to stream down her cheeks and she started to wonder why she couldn’t have gone to Taeyeon’s place sooner. She should have known something wasn’t right when the girl didn’t contact her at all about her whereabouts.


Taeyeon entered her apartment, the sobbing was the first thing she heard when she entered. With a heavy heart she went to the living room and saw Jessica seated beside her dead body. Seeing the brunette’s tear stained cheeks made a pain grow in her chest and she went over to her side and took a seat beside the crying girl.

Her eyes took in the sight of Jessica tightly clutching her hand. It brought a bitter smile to her face and she reached out her hand to place it on top of the other girl. She figured Jessica wouldn’t notice as the girl was probably too occupied with thinking about the girl she actually could see in front of her.

Taeyeon looked at her body, the shell she had lived inside her whole life. Seeing her this way was new. She didn’t think anyone would actually think they ever would see their body this way.

“Don’t die.” Jessica’s sob made Taeyeon turn her attention back to the brunette beside her. She smiled at the girl that was so tightly holding onto her dead body’s hand. She reached out and patted Jessica’s head.

The brunette snapped her head towards her direction. The action startled her as much as her action must have started Jessica. The two of them looked wide eyed at each other. Taeyeon wasn’t sure if Jessica saw her but the girl still hadn’t turned away from her.

“T-Taeyeon?” Jessica’s voice was a whisper, and Taeyeon gulped.

Taeyeon reached out towards her again to let Jessica know about her existence, but rapid knocks on the door made Jessica turn her attention that way instead and the brunette girl left her to sit beside her body while she went to the door.

Two paramedics came into the living room followed by Jessica. Seeing the paramedics take care of her body Taeyeon distanced herself and watched as they did their job.

Her eyes left the two men and went over to Jessica that stood by the side and watched with an anxious and concerned expression on her face. She slowly went over to the girl and stopped beside her. She looked down at the hand Jessica had clutched into a fist, she reached out her own hand towards it, but stopped when she noticed something strange with it.

She could see through her own hand.

Her head turned around and saw the paramedics had started doing CPR on her. She turned back to Jessica and caught the girl’s worried stricken face one last time before she saw a white light that suddenly exploded around her and she was surrounded by darkness.


The beeping sound from the monitors was the first thing she noticed when she regained consciousness. She stirred slightly and slowly opened her eyes and took in the brightness of the hospital room the sun shone inside. The sudden light made her close her eyes and clench her fists which earned her the attention of the person that had been holding her hand.

“Taeyeon?” The voice beside her made her turn her head and slowly open her eyes to take in the sight of the brunette beside her. She smiled at the girl that looked teary eyed and worriedly at her.

“Hmm?” Taeyeon couldn’t utter any other sound than that, but it was enough to bring a delighted smile on Jessica’s lips.

“Oh my God! I thought I was going to lose you!” Jessica’s arms wrapped around Taeyeon’s body in a tight hug. The blonde could only smile and pat the brunette’s back as she felt Jessica’s tears soak the hospital gown she was wearing.

“I’m sorry.” Taeyeon croaked and looked at Jessica when the girl had broken the hug.

“I was worried.” Jessica said and wiped the tears that had escaped her eyes.

“I can see that.” Taeyeon said and lifted up her hand towards Jessica’s face and wiped away the tears on her cheek. A small smile was on Jessica’s lips and Taeyeon smiled assuring at the girl.

“But you won’t lose me as long as you don’t let go of me.” Taeyeon said.

Jessica chuckled and grabbed Taeyeon’s hand and held it tightly between both of hers.

“Then I’ll have to make sure to not let you go.” Jessica said.

The two girls smiled warmly at each other. Both enjoying the presence of the other, and savoring how they could feel the warmth from the other girl as they held each other in their arms.


Tease and Touch
Tease and Touch

The girl sleeping on the bed stirred in her sleep when she felt someone nibbling on the skin at the side of her neck. She tried to shift in her position but she felt an arm was wrapped around her body. Her eyebrows furrowed when she felt small pecks were being placed where someone previously had been nibbling.

She slowly opened her eyes and turned her head, a grinning girl came to sight and she let out a tired sigh and turned her head. She felt the girl nuzzling the side of her neck, and she let out another sigh again.

“What are you doing this early in the morning?” Jessica whined and tried to wiggle herself away from Taeyeon’s one armed embrace.

“Making up for lost time.” Taeyeon whispered against Jessica’s skin. The older girl blew air into Jessica’s ear and she shivered by the feeling.

“But it’s like eight in the morning.” Jessica said and tried to turn around.

“I know, and the members are still sleeping.” Taeyeon mused and continued to nuzzle Jessica’s neck. Jessica let out another tired sigh and tried to push away the girl that was stopping her from enjoying her sleep.

“Yes, the members are still sleeping, and so should we also be doing.” Jessica said and looked into Taeyeon’s eyes when she had managed to push away the girl. A pout donned Taeyeon’s lips and Jessica sighed by the sight.

“Some other time, okay?” Jessica said in hope of making the frown on the older girl’s lips disappear.

Jessica thought the frown got even deeper and she regretted her suggestion right away.

“But the girls won’t let us.” Taeyeon said with an even bigger frown.

Jessica sighed. She knew that Taeyeon was right in what she was saying. With a small smile Jessica looked into Taeyeon’s eyes and entangled her fingers into the other girl’s hair.

“I’ll make sure they will let us.” Jessica promised. Taeyeon’s face brightened up and Jessica felt relieved by the reaction.

“So let’s sleep now.” Jessica said and placed her arms around Taeyeon’s waist to pull the girl in for a hug. Taeyeon complied and lied down beside Jessica and nuzzled close to the girl. Noticing that Taeyeon had agreed to sleep Jessica closed her eyes to return to dreamland.


Jessica soon found herself wishing she had never promised Taeyeon anything about convincing the members to let them spend some alone time. Because Taeyeon seemed to always find some way to remind her about what she wanted. The older girl seemed to always move around in an awfully teasing way whenever she was in the same room. The action made Jessica want to jump at the girl and do all kinds of things to her, things she and Taeyeon had promised the members they would keep from doing if they were under the same roof as them.

Jessica heaved a heavy sigh as she watched Taeyeon talk to Tiffany, her creamy white legs was crossed, and Jessica was so sure that Taeyeon was wearing shorts only because she was going to be reminded how much she liked looking at those legs. She noticed Taeyeon was stroking her hand up and down her thigh like she was freezing, or in Jessica’s case, teasing.

The girl bit her lower lip and averted her gaze to the magazine in her hand. She desperately tried to focus on the text instead of the girl on the couch opposite of where she was sitting.

She felt someone taking a seat beside her, and she glanced at the girl that seemed busy playing something on her phone. The action made her remember someone else that also enjoyed playing phone games, and once again Jessica averted her eyes to Taeyeon, only to see the girl stretching her arms above her head, and letting out a moan. Jessica’s jaw dropped. Taeyeon was really teasing her.

Jessica quickly turned back to the girl she was sitting beside, her magazine dropped to the floor and she grabbed one of the girl’s hands. Her action startled the girl and she looked surprised at Jessica.

“Sunny, please, make the members go out for the night.” Jessica begged the shorter girl. Sunny blinked confused by Jessica’s sudden request.

“What?” Sunny asked and looked questioning at Jessica.

“Please, please, please. Me and Taeyeon really need to have some alone time tonight.” Jessica begged and squeezed Sunny’s hand in an attempt to make Sunny understand how desperate she was. Sunny furrowed her eyebrows and looked at Taeyeon that was chatting calmly with Tiffany.

“But me and Yoona–“

“Go to my house!” Jessica announced.

“Uuh…” Sunny looked at Jessica like the girl was stupid.

“Sica, I don’t think your parents would like if we randomly showed up at your parents’ house without even going with you.” Sunny said and wriggled her hand free from Jessica’s grip.

“Tell them you’re visiting Krystal.” Jessica blurted out. Sunny raised an eyebrow at the suggestion.

“Why would we visit Krystal?” Sunny asked.

“Just because!”

“Sica, we’re under the same company, if me and Yoona wanted to visit Krystal we could just go to the company when she has practice or something.” Sunny pointed out. Jessica let out a groan and slumped down in her seat. Sunny looked apologetic at the girl.

“Sorry, Sica. You two will just have to keep away from each other tonight. Take a cold shower and I’m sure you’ll feel better.” Sunny said in an attempt of cheering Jessica up. Jessica only sighed and closed her eyes. Cold shower was something she definitively would take.


Jessica closed her eyes as the members monitored their last performance. She just knew that she had done mistakes all over the place, and all because of that swaying butt that kept appearing right in front of her, catching her off guard. She knew that butt didn’t sway that much when they usually performed.

And those teasing hands that always seemed have to brush past her back, leaving that lingering feeling that had Jessica shivering. She hated how the performance had turned out, and that she had to listen to Tiffany’s scolding afterwards didn’t help her, and she couldn’t exactly point out to the girl that it was her best friend’s fault that Jessica had done so many mistakes.

No, because no one believed that Taeyeon would do anything to ruin a performance.

Jessica glared at the girl that was watching the performance with her innocent looking face. But Jessica knew that behind that innocent façade was a torturing devil. Jessica bit her lower lip in anger and exhaled air through her nose while she let her eyes bore through the back of Taeyeon’s head.

“Someone looks frustrated today.” A voice beside Jessica made her turn her attention to Hyoyeon that sat beside her. The blonde girl was munching on candy as her eyes were glued to the monitor the other girls were looking at. Jessica sighed by the girl’s comment.

“Well, I am frustrated.” Jessica mumbled and crossed her arms.

“Let me guess, the baby-faced Taeyeon is giving you a hard time.” Hyoyeon said and took a bite of her candy. Jessica’s face brightened up when it seemed like one of the members understood her.

“Yes! It’s so frustrating.” Jessica said, finally being able to tell someone about her suffering.

Hyoyeon nodded her head and glanced at Taeyeon before she turned to Jessica again.

“But why don’t you just relieve yourself if it’s so unbearable?” Hyoyeon asked.

Jessica’s eyebrows furrowed. “Because it’s not the same thing. I want to feel her skin under my hands, hear her voice moa-“ Jessica stopped herself before she had relieved too much of her pent up desires, and she noticed by Hyoyeon’s expression that she already had blurted out too much.

“Okay… I was only eating…” Hyoyeon said and looked at the piece of candy in her hand. Jessica smiled apologetic at her.

“I can take it if you don’t want it.” Jessica offered. Without hesitation Hyoyeon gave her candy to Jessica and the girl gladly ate it up.

“But if you’re that desperate why don’t you just do it on the toilet here.” Hyoyeon said. Jessica raised her eyebrow by the suggestion.

“Hyo, this is a music station.” Jessica pointed out.

“So? If you’re that desperate I don’t think the location will matter.” Hyoyeon said.

Jessica sighed. “Yes, if it’s a risk that we’ll get caught!”

Hyoyeon shook her head at the girl’s counter argument.

“The life is all about taking risks, haven’t you learned that yet?” Hyoyeon said and wriggled her eyebrows. Jessica furrowed her own and turned to the girl that was the cause of her to have this conversation from the start. Jessica bit her lower lip and suddenly got up from her seat. Hyoyeon watched with curious eyes what the Jung was up to.

“All about the risks, huh?” Jessica asked and turned to Hyoyeon. Hyoyeon blinked in confusion to Jessica’s action.

“Then I’ll take a risk and just do it right here and now!” Jessica said and turned to jump at Taeyeon.

“Yoona tackle her!” Hyoyeon stood up from her seat and pointed at Jessica. To her relief she saw Yoona flying across the room and tackling Jessica before the girl had reached Taeyeon.

All the members’ attention was brought to the two girls that landed with a thud on the floor. Jessica groaned in pain and frustration upon being stopped, and Hyoyeon sighed in relief, while Yoona looked questioning at Hyoyeon for ordering her to do something like that.

“What are you doing?” Tiffany asked and looked from the entangled limbs of Jessica and Yoona to the girl that had shouted. Hyoyeon smiled awkwardly at the girl.

“We’re practicing WWE moves.” Hyoyeon said. Sunny, Tiffany and Taeyeon exchanged looks before the former girls turned their attention back to the TV screen. Taeyeon looked down on her girlfriend that now had managed to get free from Yoona’s grip, she smiled at the girl that sent her a glare.

“Fun wrestling?” Taeyeon asked the girl. Jessica gritted her teeth but managed to break out some kind of smile after she had regained some of her composure.

“Yes, because I don’t seem to be getting any physical contact from you.” Jessica said through gritted teeth. Taeyeon’s eyebrows raised in faked surprise.

“Oh, is that what you’re craving?” Taeyeon played oblivious.

Jessica wanted to throw something at the girl’s face when she saw that smirk that appeared afterwards. Taeyeon turned back to watch the TV, and Jessica was left just as frustrated as she had been before.


“Sleep with me!” Jessica slumped down on the couch beside Seohyun that looked wide eyed at Jessica. The older girl crawled closer to her, and Seohyun panicked moved away from her.

“Unnie, control yourself.” Seohyun said and tried to protect herself from Jessica with the book in her hand. Whenever Jessica tried to reach out for her, she smacked Jessica’s hands with the book, making Jessica letting out a whine.

“Seohyun-ah, I’m going insane here.” Jessica complained.

“I can see that.” Seohyun said and moved away from Jessica.

“I need-“ Jessica‘s sentence was cut off short when someone poured water over her head. She slowly turned her head to Sunny that stood with an emptied glass in her hand, the girl sighed upon seeing Jessica’s pitiful state.

“Get yourself together, Sica.” Sunny told the girl. Jessica placed her palm against her face and dragged it down. She let out a sigh.

“It’s all Taeyeon’s fault I’m like this!” Jessica screamed. Seohyun and Sunny exchanged looks before they turned to Jessica that had tiredly lied down on her stomach on the couch.

“How come you’re like this now? You’ve never been this desperate before.” Sunny pointed out.

Jessica mumbled something incoherent and Seohyun and Sunny exchanged looks before they turned back to the older girl that didn’t seem to say anything.

“Sunny sleep with me.” Jessica turned to the third oldest member. Sunny’s eyes widened and backed away from Jessica’s hand that reached out for her.

“How about no?” Sunny said and avoided Jessica’s hand that still desperately tried to catch her.

“Oh, c’mon! You always kiss me when I ask you to!” Jessica sat up on the couch with a pout.

“That’s different.”

“No! The only difference is that this will involve less clothes.”


Jessica sighed, defeated by Seohyun’s whine of disapproval. Seohyun and Sunny looked sympathetically at the older girl that slumped further down into the couch.

“Hey, Sica, why don’t you bring Taeyeon over to your parents’ house?” Sunny suggested.

Jessica raised her eyebrow by the suggestion. “Because my parents will be there, and Krystal might be there, and the rest of the f(x) hoobaes might also be there, and if not, Krystal usually brings friends over. Like Suzy or Jiyoung or whatever people she hangs out with.”

“You’ll just have to be quiet.” Sunny said and shrugged.

“You know how strong Taeyeon’s singing voice is on stage? Well, that’s how loud she’s in bed as well.”

“Gag her.”

Jessica blinked surprised at the short-haired blonde. Sunny shrugged her shoulders when she saw how surprised Jessica looked.

“Lee Sunkyu, what kinky stuff have you watched?” Jessica asked surprised that Sunny would even suggest such thing.

Sunny frowned. “I’m a grown up woman. I have my needs too.”

“Uhm.” The two girls’ attention was brought to Seohyun that had stood up from her seat. “I think I’ll leave you unnies to talk about Jessica’s problems on your own.” The maknae said before she left .

The two older girls watched after the youngest. They have been completely oblivious to Seohyun’s presence as they had talked about things the younger one clearly had felt uncomfortable about.

When Seohyun had left Sunny turned back to Jessica again.

“Well, I’ve given you my advice. It’s up to you how you want to do it.” Sunny said and shrugged. Jessica was left nodding her head.


Brown orbs looked at the scarf that was being held in the girl’s hand that stood in front of her. Her eyebrow raised and she turned to the girl’s face. A smile was on her lips, and Taeyeon shook her head.

“No. I’m not going to let you gag me.” Taeyeon said and shook her head.

“Oh, c’mon. We won’t be able to do it otherwise. We have to be quiet as we can only be in places where we can be heard.” Jessica said with a pout.

“No.” Taeyeon simply said and turned her attention back to her iPad.

“Taeyeon I’m going insane if I have to wait any longer!”

Jessica’s outburst was answered with silence, and the younger girl huffed a sigh while throwing the scarf on the floor.

“How are you so calm?” Jessica asked when she noticed Taeyeon’s relaxed figure. There was no sign of frustration in the older girl.

“Oh, that’s something you’d like to know.” Taeyeon said and raised her eyebrow with a smirk on her lips. Jessica’s lips formed a hard line and she turned on her heels to head for the door.

“Gaah!” Jessica shouted as her frustrations over Taeyeon’s teasing finally had reached their limit.


Her eyes looked at the screen of her the laptop in her lap. She looked up from it at the girl that sat opposite her, the girl had earphones in her ears and her eyes were glued to the iPad in her lap. Jessica figured the girl wouldn’t notice what she did.

She gulped and with trembling fingers typed in her keyword in the search bar. Her finger hovered above the enter button for a while before she finally pressed down. Her cheeks instantly flushed when she saw what her search had showed.

She gulped and scrolled through the options, finally settling on a video. She clicked on it and waited as it buffered for a while.

“Ah!” Jessica immediately shut the laptop off when she realized her sound wasn’t muted and it was on the fullest. With a bright red face she glanced at the girl opposite her. To add to her embarrassment the girl looked back at her with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s not what it seems like” Jessica defended herself.

“Yeah, right. I know everything, Jessi, you don’t have to hide anything. Sunny and Hyoyeon already told me.” Tiffany said and averted her eyes back to her iPad.

“Damn those unfaithful shorties” Jessica mumbled. She looked back at Tiffany that looked at her as well. “I’m surprised Taeyeon didn’t tell you.” Jessica muttered, knowing how close the two best friends were.

“Nah, Taeyeon usually don’t talk about her problems concerning you.” Tiffany said.

“Really?” Jessica looked surprised at the other girl.

“Yeah, she usually keeps them to herself.” Tiffany said with her eyes on the iPad screen.

Jessica smiled bitterly by the information. Taeyeon usually kept her problems to herself, and that she even kept problems that concerned them made her feel a bit guilty as she usually went to the other members for advice when she felt she needed it. She thought her girlfriend could do the same.

“Wanna tell me how all this started?” Tiffany asked and put away the iPad. Jessica snapped out of her thoughts about her girlfriend and averted her attention back to Tiffany. Remembering the question Jessica let out a sigh and slumped further down in her seat when she thought back to the morning when it all started.

“A few weeks ago Taeyeon came to me when you all were sleeping, I was so tired then that I rejected her but promised that I’d fix it so all of you would agree to let me and Taeyeon be alone for one night.” Jessica said and ended with a sigh. When she looked at Tiffany she noticed the girl had her eyebrows raised and an amused smile was on her lips.

“What?” Jessica asked when Tiffany didn’t say anything.

Tiffany started to chuckle and shook her head. She shifted her sitting position before she looked back at Jessica and shook her head once again.

“You promised her that?” Tiffany asked.

“Yeah, why?”

“She’ll never give in to any other suggestion until you’ve fulfilled that promise you made. That’s how stubborn she is. Don’t you know this?” Tiffany asked amused.

Jessica gaped in shock when the realization hit her. She groaned and covered her face with her hands when she now realized why her girlfriend was acting like she was.

“And she probably won’t stop reminding me until I’ve fulfilled it.” Jessica mumbled.

“Bingo.” Tiffany said with a smile.

“Gaaah! Why is my life so hard?!” Jessica whined.

Tiffany chuckled and picked up the iPad again.

“You brought this problem upon yourself.” The younger girl chimed.

Jessica let out a sigh and leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling.

“I might as well just watch porn.” Jessica muttered.

“Please mute the sound or put on earphones if you do it.” Tiffany said.

Another sigh left Jessica’s lips and she glanced at the laptop in her lap. No, she was not going to watch it, she had already lost the desire for it.


The following week when Jessica arrived at their dorm after finishing her schedules she noticed a man outside their dorm’s door. She looked questioning at him when she approached but when she saw the logo at the back of his jacket she remembered that he was going to change the lock to their door.

“Hello,” Jessica bowed to the man that turned around and bowed back.

“Hello, good that you’re here. I was just done.” He said with a smile.

“Oh, really?” Jessica said surprised.

“Yes, here’re the new keys.” The man handed Jessica a small bags of 10 keys. “Please give the keys to the other girls as well.”

“Ah, yes.” Jessica nodded her head while she took the bag from him. “Thank you for your hard work.” She said when she noticed he had to go. She bowed towards him once last time before she entered the dorm with one of the new keys.

The girl entered the dorm and took off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen where she placed the keys. Her feet shuffled towards the refrigerator but stopped mid-way. She slowly turned around towards the bag of keys, a small smile appeared on her lips and she took out her phone from her pocket.

To Taengoo

When will you be home?:)

Jessica put the phone back in her pocket when she had sent the message and went back to the refrigerator and took out a water bottle. When she had opened the bottle and was about to drink from it she felt the cellphone vibrate and she picked it up with a smile on her lips.

From Taengoo

I’m on my way home, why?

Jessica felt all giddy by the answer and quickly typed a reply.

To Taengoo

They changed the lock so tell me when you’re here so I can open the door for you~!

From Taengoo


When she had made sure her girlfriend was on her way home Jessica happily skipped towards the couch in the living room. She sat down and sipped on her water. She felt all restless when she thought of the plan she had in mind.

Her eyes travelled to the hallway leading towards the foyer. She suddenly remembered something she had to do before Taeyeon came back and jumped up from her seat and hurriedly went to the foyer and stopped in front of the pad where they could choose the signal for the doorbell. She turned the sound off and smiled at her accomplishment before she went back to the couch and sat down with a satisfied sigh.

When she had finished about half of her water bottle she felt her phone vibrate and she smiled even wider as she picked up the device. She read the message from Taeyeon that said the girl was in the elevator on her way up, after finishing reading it Jessica skipped towards the door and opened it just in time as Taeyeon came out of the elevator.

“Omo, I how romantic of you to hold the door for me.” Taeyeon said as she went past Jessica and went into the dorm with Jessica following her.

“I’m only romantic on special occasions.” Jessica said and closed the door when Taeyeon had entered.

“Oh, what’s the special occasion now?” Taeyeon asked after she had taken off her shoes. She spun around and looked at the widely grinning Jessica.

“We’re alone.” Jessica said with a grin that could probably split her face in half.

Taeyeon blinked surprised and looked behind her like she would see one of the other members be at home as well. But Taeyeon knew the other members wouldn’t be home in at least an hour.

When the older girl turned back towards Jessica the younger grabbed her collar and Taeyeon was dragged towards her bedroom that were the closest, and Jessica kicked the door close after her even though she knew they were alone and none of the members would be able to disturb them.


A sigh left the tall girl’s lips as she stepped out of the elevator. She looked down on her handbag while she searched for the key to the dorm while she walked towards the door. When she had found the key she looked up but stopped immediately in her tracks when she noticed something strange.

The majority of her group members stood outside of the dorm’s door.

“What are you guys doing out here?” Sooyoung asked and looked from Yuri that stood with her back leaning against the wall beside the door, to Yoona, Tiffany, Sunny and Hyoyeon that sat on the floor and ate snacks and to Seohyun that stood beside the group seated on the floor.

“We can’t get in.” Seohyun said and looked devastated.

“What?” Sooyoung thought it sounded absurd and looked at the group that was eating.

“We’ve all tried our keys but none is working.” Sunny said.

“We’ve been out here for more than two hours.” Yoona said.

Sooyoung gaped in shock as she looked at her band mates. She turned to the door and furrowed her eyebrows. Her eyes went to the rest of the members and she quickly noticed not everyone was there.

“Where’re Taeyeon and Jessica?” Sooyoung asked.

“I don’t know. None of them are answering their phones.” Hyoyeon said and shrugged her shoulders.

“Manger oppa said they’d already finished their schedules for today.” Seohyun said.

Sooyoung looked at the youngest member, her eyes suddenly widened and she looked down at Sunny and Hyoyeon that looked just as wide eyed as her when the three of them had thought of the same thing.

“No, she wouldn’t.” Hyoyeon said.

Sooyoung clenched her hands and marched towards the door and rang the doorbell but quickly noticed it wasn’t working. She gritted her teeth and started pounding on the door.

“Yah, Jung Jessica, open the door!” Sooyoung shouted even though she knew that if Taeyeon and Jessica were inside they would probably not hear her.


Jessica rolled onto her side, feeling her arm coming in contact with the girl sleeping beside her. She smiled by the contact and nuzzles closer to the girl beside her, feeling the girl shivering by the touch. Jessica smiled by the reaction and nuzzles her nose into the back of Taeyeon’s neck.

Her ears could only hear the sound of Taeyeon’s breathing, which Jessica soon started to get bothered by. It was way too quiet. She pried one eye open and looked at the clock on the bedside table. Seeing the time she furrowed her eyebrows. The other members should be home by now.

She shrugged the thought of and closed her eyes again and hugged Taeyeon even tighter.

Realization suddenly hit her and she opened her eyes wide. She quickly removed the covers from her body and jumped up from the bed, startling and making Taeyeon confused in the process.

“What’s wrong?” Taeyeon asked and watched as Jessica searched for clothes.

“I just forgot about something.” Jessica said and dismissed her search of clothes and just borrowed one of Taeyeon’s oversized shirts instead before she hurriedly went to the front door.

If the members were still there it meant Jessica had made them wait for more than four hours. Jessica hoped and prayed that the members had been smart enough to go home to their parents’ house.

Jessica slowly opened the door to the dorm. Her heart stopped beating when she saw the seven other members standing on the other side of the door, everyone sent her glares and she backed away when they all started to move towards her.

“Jessica you’re so dead.” Sooyoung said through gritted teeth.

“You didn’t have to wait that long.” Jessica laughed.

She saw that the girls didn’t think of it as funny and she turned around to escape their wrath but she felt to pair of hands grab her arms before she could go anywhere. She closed her eyes and hoped that someone could save her from these seven girls that probably would torture her to the point of her begging them to stop.

Through work and hate we'll love part 8
“You look lovestruck.” The brunette girl’s comment made the blonde idol that was deep in thought come back to reality and she looked at the two sisters that observed her. She looked questioning at them when she hadn’t quite heard what they had said.

“You look like you’re in love.” Hyoyeon said and Taeyeon nodded her head.

Jessica frowned by the comment and the idol shook her head. “No, I’m not in love.”

“Really? Then I’m gonna applaud you for being able to display the emotions of the song you and Tiffany are promoting.” Taeyeon said and began clapping her hands.

“You don’t need to be in love to display the emotions of that song!” Jessica protested and made the composer stop clapping her hands. Hyoyeon and Taeyeon exchanged glances before they looked back at the blonde idol.

“But you’ve changed.” Hyoyeon said.

“Yeah, and you’re always spacing out with a smile on your lips nowadays.” Taeyeon added.

“I always space out.” Jessica said and frowned.

“Yeah, but not while smiling.” The two sisters said in unison. Jessica frowned at them. She grabbed her napkin and threw it on Taeyeon.

“Sorry for being happy!” Jessica said and pouted.

“It’s nothing wrong with being happy. We’re happy to see you happy. But we’re just curious who the source of your happiness is.” Hyoyeon said.

“Or what. She could be on drugs.” Taeyeon added. The idol and dancer looked at the brunette that looked innocently at them. Jessica rolled her eyes at the brunette’s statement and turned to the blonde sister instead.

“It’s nothing. I’m just enjoying my life right now.” Jessica said and looked seriously at Hyoyeon.

“Your life with Tiffany.”

Jessica snapped her head towards Taeyeon. Her cheeks started to flush and she wondered why she had thrown her napkin before as she needed it even more now to shove down Taeyeon’s throat. The two sisters noticed Jessica’s reaction and their eyes and grins widened.

“Omo, it’s Tiffany!” Hyoyeon said happily.

The two sisters began clapping their hands when they had figured it out. Jessica blushed madly and she tried to quiet the two girls down when they both cheered their success in their investigation. The blonde idol started to question her choice of friends when she saw the sisters high-five.

“I hate you.” Jessica mumbled when the sisters had calmed down.

“But you’re in love with the girl you hated.” Taeyeon said and pointed at the idol.

“I still hate her.”

“But you’ve grown to love her through your work.” The other sister said.

“Shut up.”

“Jessica and Tiffany sitting in a tree– “

“SHUT UP!” Jessica lifted her knife and threatened to throw it at one of the sisters. Both Taeyeon and Hyoyeon stopped singing but they continued to giggle but the blonde’s reaction.

The sisters stopped giggling and Jessica lowered the knife. She let out a tired sigh and placed the knife on the table while leaning back in her seat.

“You know, someone that’s in love should look happier.” Hyoyeon said.

“Yeah, why don’t you tell her about your feelings?” Taeyeon asked.

Another sigh left the idol and she looked up at her two friends.

“Because it’s Tiffany.” Jessica said and pouted.

“So?” The two sisters exchanged glances before they looked back at Jessica.

“It’s Tiffany. You know, the girl that has been my rival since the first time we met when starred in that drama together.” Jessica said.

“But you starred in that drama when you were like nine.” Taeyeon pointed out.

“That’s like twelve years ago.” Hyoyeon added.

Jessica sighed. “Yes, but through those twelve years me and Tiffany have hated each other.” Jessica said.

“Well, time changes, as you’ve obviously proven by falling for her.” Hyoyeon said matter-of-factly.

Jessica frowned by the blonde sister’s comment. She grabbed her knife again and threatened to throw it at the girl that grabbed her sister to use as a shield. Taeyeon held up her hands and motioned for Jessica to not throw the knife.

Jessica sighed and dropped the knife again. The blonde idol placed her hands over her face while letting out a frustrated groan.

She knew the sisters were right about what they were saying. But she didn’t like it, and she could only react angry towards it.


Jessica felt the presence by her side on the stage leave during the ending of the show. She turned her head and saw the red haired girl went up to the female MC of the show. She saw Tiffany hugging the girl and they began chatting causally. Jessica frowned by the sight and turned to the audience instead, waving to the fans that shouted her name.

“I missed you, Yuri-ah.” Tiffany’s loud voice was heard. Jessica tried to not show how much she disliked hearing it and focused on smiling to the audience instead.

“We have to hang out someday, maybe after my promotions over.” Tiffany said.

Jessica felt the comment like a stab to her heart. The blonde swallowed and tried to ignore the painful feeling. She dared taking a small glance at the MC and her duo partner that now was laughing together. Jessica clenched her teeth and turned away from the sight.

The artists finally got the sign to walk off the stage, Jessica was fast with walking up to Tiffany that was still talking to Yuri. Without thinking about what she was doing Jessica grabbed Tiffany’s hand and started dragging the other girl with her off the stage.

“Jessica, what are you doing?” She heard Tiffany ask and felt the red haired girl tug on the hand she was holding.

“We have other schedules to go to.” Jessica reasoned and hurriedly went through the hallway.

“That’s not until a few hours!” Tiffany said and pulled her hand making Jessica stop in her tracks. The blonde idol turned to look at the other girl and met Tiffany’s confused eyes. It was then Jessica realized her action wasn’t like her usual self and she let go of the red head’s hand.

“What’s wrong with you?” Tiffany asked and observed the blonde that looked down on the floor.

“Nothing.” Jessica mumbled and turned on her heels and headed for the dressing rooms alone.

Confused by Jessica’s strange behavior Tiffany was rooted to her spot while watching the blonde’s retreating back. Tiffany blinked confused by Jessica’s action and shook her head before she turned around to head the other way. While walking she looked over her shoulder towards the direction Jessica had gone. The blonde’s action was really bugging her.


Jessica paced back and forth in the practice room. She had done so for quite some time. When she had been seated while thinking about her problem she had felt too restless and had ended up standing up while pacing around the floor.

The blonde stopped in her tracks and turned to the mirror wall, her confused and rather frantic expression was displayed in the mirror and she sighed and continued to pace around again.

Her left hand was clutching her cellphone, and she was constantly looking down at the device like she contemplated on doing something with it. For the fifteenth time that evening Jessica looked down at the phone, sighing, and dropping the hand back to her side while she continued pacing around.

The idol stopped again and bit down on her lower lip. She looked at the cellphone again, unlocking the screen and opening the text message conversations, she typed in what she wanted to say and hovered her thumb over the send button. She closed her eyes while taking a deep breath, feeling her thumb press down on the screen, and she opened her eyes again and looked down at the message that had been sent. She stopped breathing and her heart continued to beat rapidly.


The vibrations of her phone made the red haired idol inside the lounging room pick up the device and check the text message. She blinked confused by the text that was written, she had to re-read it three times before she had confirmed she had been reading right.

From Jessica:

I’m sorry about my actions before.

Tiffany blinked confused again. She wrote it was okay and placed her phone in her lap. Her eyebrows furrowed again by Jessica’s even stranger behavior. Her cellphone buzzed again and Tiffany picked it up to look at the newly received text message.

From Jessica:

I want to talk to you about something. Can you come to the practice room?

Tiffany’s eyebrows raised in surprise. Her body had already stood up from her seat on the couch and her feet were already bringing her to the destination before she had even written a reply to the blonde. Tiffany wondered what was wrong with the blonde girl nowadays.


Tiffany stopped a few feet away from Jessica. The blonde had her back facing her and Tiffany raised an eyebrow by the blonde girl that had her shoulders slumped and her whole posture seemed smaller, contradicting to the confident Jessica usually displayed.

“What did you want to talk about?” Tiffany asked and crossed her arms over her chest.

She heard Jessica sigh. The blonde girl turned around with her eyes fixed on the floor. Tiffany kept looking at her, waiting for Jessica to finally spit out whatever it was she had to say.

When Jessica looked up and met Tiffany’s eyes, Tiffany was taken aback when she saw an emotion in the brown orbs that she had never seen the blonde girl display before. The red head uncrossed her arms and waited for the blonde girl to talk, maybe even explaining why she looked afraid.

Jessica felt her lower lip quiver as she opened her mouth, she noticed Tiffany searched her face, and she closed her mouth again to not look like a fool. She gulped nervously and met Tiffany’s confused eyes that continued to observe her, she could catch a slight impatience in the other girl, and Jessica took a deep breath to get her nerves in check.

“Don’t try to stop loving me.” Jessica’s plea came out as a whisper. By how much Tiffany’s eyes widened she knew the other girl was surprised.

“I don’t want my love to be one-sided like yours have been.” Jessica added.

Tiffany closed her eyes and released a sigh. Jessica continued to stare at Tiffany’s face for any kind of reaction. Her heart felt like it would jump out of her chest if it continued to beat like this.

When Tiffany opened her eyes again, a small smirk appeared on her lips. Jessica didn’t know what she would think of that reaction and instead waited for Tiffany to say something.

“You selfish b*stard.” Tiffany said with her smirk still on her lips. The red haired woman took a grip around Jessica’s collar and brought her closer. Standing a mere inch away from each other now, Jessica held her breath as she looked surprised into Tiffany’s eyes.

“You’re so damn lucky that I’ve stopped trying.” Tiffany whispered before she captured Jessica’s lips.

The kiss was rough, and Jessica could feel the taste of blood in her mouth. When she started to kiss Tiffany back and placed her arms around the other woman’s neck the kiss took a softer path, and they started kissing more passionate.

Tiffany was the first one to break the kiss, and they stared at each other while trying to catch their breath. A grin appeared on Tiffany’s lips and she let go of Jessica’s collar to slide her hands down to place them on Jessica’s waist.

“Sorry.” Tiffany said and looked at Jessica’s lip. The blonde idol let her tongue sweep over her lower lip and she noticed a cut that had appeared there, she now knew why she had tasted blood in her mouth earlier.

“You aren’t a very good kisser, are you?” Jessica commented. Tiffany frowned and Jessica could feel the girl pinching her side, making her squirm in Tiffany’s embrace.

“I’m just kidding.” Jessica laughed and managed to make Tiffany stop pinching her. A satisfied smile appeared on Tiffany’s lips and Jessica smiled at her.

“Now what?” Jessica asked.

“You tell me.” Tiffany said and raised her eyebrows in an expectantly way. Jessica smiled by the action.

“Well, I guess I’m no longer single.” Jessica said and tilted her head to the side. Tiffany raised an eyebrow by the statement.

“So you’re saying that you have a girlfriend now?” Tiffany asked.

“Yeah.” Jessica looked a bit unsure at Tiffany.

“Well, it can’t be me then ‘cause I don’t like commitments. “ Tiffany said and shrugged.

She saw Jessica’s shocked expression, and she felt the Jessica’s arms around her neck slowly started to let go. She smiled and brought Jessica closer to her, surprising the blonde once again.

“But because I like you so much I guess I could make an exception.” Tiffany said and smirked.

A frown appeared on Jessica’s lips and she brought her hands down to Tiffany’s shoulders while she tried to push the red-haired girl away from her.

“You know what, I don’t like you.” Jessica said while still trying to push Tiffany away but the red-haired woman continued to hold her in place.

Tiffany laughed and leaned closer to the blonde’s face. “I know, honey, but we’ll just have to love and hate each other at the same time to make this work out.” Tiffany said and smirked.

“You’re an as*.” Jessica said while leaning away from Tiffany.

“You’re not so lovely yourself, b*stard.” Tiffany said and leaned in to capture Jessica’s lips again.

Jessica didn’t give in to the kiss at first, but when she felt Tiffany lightly nibbling on her lower lip she finally gave in and opened her mouth to fulfill Tiffany’s wish. The red haired girl smirked against her lips when she had given in and Jessica slapped Tiffany’s arm that made the girl laugh into their kiss.


“And we’re back after a bit of break.” The host of the show said and smiled at the camera. He looked down at his cue cards before he turned towards his guest.

“Tiffany-sshi,” The host pointed at the red haired idol that was one of the guests. Beside Tiffany was a sign which said ‘I’m coming out’. The idol smiled when the camera was focused on her.

“Tiffany-sshi, it’s said that you’re going to reveal something on today’s show.” The host said. Tiffany nodded her head.

“Yeah, I contemplated about this for a while, but I feel I should come out about this and I’m even prepared to face the consequences.” Tiffany said and turned towards the host. He nodded, interest sparked in his eyes and he looked at the camera before he turned back to the idol.

“It sounds like this is something your company doesn’t even know about.” The host said.

Tiffany giggled by the comment. She nodded her head and the audience and host expressed their surprise by gasps.

“My company doesn’t know. And I haven’t told anyone that I’m coming out about this today.”

The camera focused on Jessica that sat behind Tiffany. Jessica had her mouth open in shock and she looked at the red haired idol that continued to smile.

“Tiffany-sshi has really sparked my interest. Please do tell us your revelation.” The host said and motioned for Tiffany to begin her story. Tiffany smiled when the camera focused on her.

“The thing is, ever since I debuted as a ballad singer and got famous I’ve been keeping my sexuality a secret. It has been a burden for me through these years. But I thought that now when I’m finally in a serious relationship I think it’s only right for my fans to come out clean. So today I want to say that I’m actually homosexual.” Tiffany said and smiled apologetic at the camera. She saw that her manager that stood beside the PD was about to faint, her stylist was gaping in shock like the rest of the staff. The audience was silent and the other guests on the show were also speechless by Tiffany’s revelation.

“Uh… so… uh.” The host was thrown off guard by Tiffany’s revelation as well. He looked at his cue cards before he looked at the idol that smiled at him.

“Relationship. You said you’re in a serious relationship.” He said. Tiffany nodded her head.

“Yes, my girlfriend is actually here today.” Tiffany said and smiled even wider.

The camera went out to the audience expecting one of the females revealing themselves as Tiffany’s secret girlfriend. They missed to film the blush that was covering the cheeks of the blonde girl seated behind Tiffany.

“She’s one of the guests.” Tiffany said.

The camera went back to film Tiffany that still hadn’t lost her smile. The idol turned around towards her duo partner that was about to burn up in embarrassment.

“Didn’t you say we would face this together?” Tiffany asked the blonde idol.



“Is Jessica the girlfriend?”

The other guests on the show started expressing their surprise upon today’s revelation. Jessica was mum and blushed madly when the camera focused on her. She couldn’t even smile, and her mouth couldn’t even deny what Tiffany was implying. The host had his mouth open in shock as he stared at the two female idols.

“So, Jessica-sshi, are you Tiffany’s girlfriend?” He finally asked.

Jessica glanced at Tiffany that smiled reassuringly at her. The blonde turned towards the host again and gave a nod in answer. Some of the J2T fans in the audience began screaming in joy while the other guests on the show were too surprised to even express what they thought of it all.


The blonde idol’s hand was tightly wrapped around the other girl’s. She could still hear Tiffany’s giggles even though they were rushing through the hallway of the recording studio towards their waiting room. They avoided all staff members they bumped into. No reporters were in sight as their managers and security guards tried to handle them.

Jessica finally reached their waiting room. She opened the door slightly before she kicked it open and dragged Tiffany in with her. The red head was still giggling like she was high, and Jessica’s cheeks were as red as Tiffany’s hair.

Jessica kicked the door close to their waiting room before closing the door and slamming Tiffany against the door. The blonde placed both of hands against the door on each side of Tiffany’s body. The red head didn’t seem to care about how roughly she was being handled, and how Jessica glared at her angrily, she continued to giggle and covered her mouth with both her hands.

“What the f*ck are you thinking?!” Jessica asked and slammed the door with her hand beside Tiffany’s head.

Tiffany finally stopped giggling and stared into Jessica’s blazing eyes. She placed her hands on Jessica’s still flushing cheeks and tried to calm the other idol down.

“Calm down, Jessi. Remember how you said that if I mentioned your sexuality you’d drag me down with you? Well, I just revealed our relationship to drag us both down.” Tiffany said and smiled.

“And how exactly did you think that would be smart?” Jessica asked through her gritted teeth.

“It’s tiring keeping it all a secret. Besides, the fans would probably figure it out sooner or later anyway. We couldn’t even go on normal dates, but now we can.” Tiffany said happily.

Jessica sighed and closed her eyes. She felt Tiffany rubbed her fingers on her cheeks before the girl removed her hands and placed her arms around her neck. Jessica opened her eyes again and stared into Tiffany’s.

“I’m not sure if I should thank you for lessen my burden, or hate you for ruining my career.” Jessica said and smiled.

Tiffany smiled as well and dragged Jessica closer to bring their foreheads together.

“Thank me first. You don’t even know if this will affect your career.”

“Oh, honey, it will.”

“Yeah, I guess…”

Jessica grinned and Tiffany smiled at the blonde. The blonde idol let out a laugh that made Tiffany laugh as well. When they had stopped Jessica let out a sigh and leaned her body against Tiffany’s and pinned the red head against the door. The blonde’s action made another set of giggles erupt from the red head, making Jessica grin in the crock of Tiffany’s neck.

Tiffany stopped giggling and Jessica leaned back only to lean back in again to capture Tiffany’s lips. Tiffany responded to the tender kiss and held on to Jessica’s head to keep the blonde in place. She stroked her tongue over Jessica’s lower lips, asking for entrance, and the blonde reciprocated and fulfilled Tiffany’s request.

The idols’ kissing session was interrupted by rapid knocks on the door behind Tiffany. Both of them furrowed their eyebrows as they looked on the wooden door after being interrupted.

“Jessica! Tiffany!” They heard their managers shout on the other side of the door.

The two idols looked at each other, grins formed on their lips and they leaned their foreheads together before bursting out in laughter.

When their laughter had stopped they stared into each other’s eyes. Their managers’ shouting that had also been joined by their stylists’ were blocked out by the bubble that surrounded the two of them. They leaned in towards each other, their lips met, and they took off right from where they had left after getting interrupted.

Through work and hate we'll love part 7
Through work and hate we’ll love part 7

Tiffany was everywhere. Tiffany was here, Tiffany was there, Tiffany was in her mind, in her dreams, in her speech, beside her, everywhere. Jessica stared at her mirror reflection in her bathroom when she realized she had wondered what Tiffany was doing. Her eyebrows furrowed and she slapped her left cheek.

“What is going on…?” Jessica mumbled and continued to stare at the mirror that showed her face, her blonde hair was wet after the shower, and her upper body that was covered by a pink bathrobe.

Her hand slid down from her cheek, only to be slapped back on it when Jessica found her mind going back to the red head. The blonde idol frowned and she slapped both her cheeks to get her mind straight.

“Don’t. Think. About. Her.” Jessica chanted while slapping her cheeks.

Jessica lowered her hands and saw her reddened cheeks. She rubbed the now sore flesh and winced a bit.

“Stupid head, what’s wrong with you.” Jessica muttered and grabbed her toothbrush and toothpaste. She applied some of the toothpaste on the brush and put it in her mouth and started brushing her teeth.

I wonder if –

Jessica stopped her thoughts, a frown appeared on her lips, and she stared at her frowning self in the mirror.

The f*ck Jessica?

Jessica spit out the content in her mouth and stared angrily at her mirror reflection.

“Just stop thinking about her already!!” Jessica shouted at the reflection.


Tiffany was talking. Like usual. This time with the scriptwriter about the script. Jessica watched how the woman constantly placed her hand on Tiffany’s arm, smiled happily at the red haired idol that seemed oblivious to it, and just continued to nod her head when she got things explained to her.

Jessica frowned and looked down at her own script. What was it to not understand about it? She glanced back up at the idol and scriptwriter when she heard laugh coming from them. She saw the scriptwriter tapped Tiffany’s back before leaving the idol and Tiffany went back to reading her script.

“What was it to not understand?” Jessica asked out loud.

She could feel Tiffany looking at her, and the blonde looked up at met her gaze.

“I was just a bit unsure of some things.” Tiffany explained and furrowed her eyebrows.

Jessica rolled her eyes and looked down at her script.

“You could just have asked me instead of disturbing the scriptwriter unnie.”

“It’s her job, besides, you seem too focused on your own thing to be able to help someone else.” Tiffany said and went back to read the script.

Jessica frowned behind the piece of paper. She glanced at Tiffany that was focused on the script. Jessica sighed and went back to eye through the script before the radio show was starting again.

“Okay, so we’re back after a little break and we’re going into the last part of this radio show.” Tiffany said when they came back after the commercial break.

“So, Jessica-sshi, how do you feel after being a guest DJ here today?” Tiffany asked.

“I feel fulfilled. I’ve never been a radio DJ before, I’ve only been a guest at radio shows. But this was a lot more fun than I thought it would.” Jessica said.

Tiffany nodded her head, and glanced at the blonde that sat on the other side of the table. They met gazes and to Tiffany’s surprise Jessica looked away before her.

“I see,” Tiffany said while her left eyebrow had raised in a questioning look. “Do you think you’d do it again if you got offered?” Tiffany asked.

“Yes, absolutely.” Jessica answered.

“Yeah, I’d do the same. Even though this wasn’t my first time as a radio DJ it was really fun. I hope the listeners think so as well.” Tiffany said and looked down at the script to see what next segment was.

“For the next thing the listeners will be choosing a mission for either me or Tiffany-sshi to do, or for us both to do together. The missions to choose from are on the homepage so just log in there and vote for the mission you wish to see us do.” Jessica said.

“Yes, in the end of this radio we will be fulfilling the mission.” Tiffany added.


“So the next thing is live singing. And Jessica-sshi, you’re going to sing us a song. Do you mind telling us what song?”

“That’s right, I’m going to sing Kiss me by Sixpence none the richer.” Jessica said.

Tiffany nodded her head and glanced at Jessica that got ready in front of the microphone. This was the song Jessica had been practicing when Tiffany had stormed into the room and thrown the food at her. Tiffany lowered her gaze to the script in front of her, she was still feeling embarrassed about it.

The music started playing and Jessica’s voice was filling the radio studio. Tiffany bobbed her head to the song, she couldn’t help but think the song really fitted Jessica’s voice.

“Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight

Lead me out on the moonlit floor, lift your open hand

Strike up the band and make fireflies dance

Silver moon’s sparkling

So kiss me”

Tiffany looked at the singing idol and noticed Jessica was turned her way when she sang. The two idols’ eyes met and both of them felt too embarrassed and looked away.

Tiffany lightly coughed and looked at the script instead while Jessica finished singing. When the song finally came to an end Tiffany applauded while Jessica went back to her seat.

“Good job,” Tiffany praised.

“Thank you.” Jessica said and put on her headphones.

“Is there any reason for you to choose this song to sing?”

“Uuh,” Jessica glanced around her and Tiffany bit down on her lower lip. She glanced at the PD before she turned back to the other idol.

“Actually it was a friend that recommended that I should sing this song because she thought it fitted my voice.” Jessica said and laughed embarrassed.

“I see, well, that friend must have good ears because it really fitted your voice.” Tiffany said.


“So, the result from the listener’s choice of mission is finished. Shall we take a look at what they’ve chosen?” Tiffany asked and saw the scriptwriter came in and placed an envelope in Jessica’s hand.

“Yes, that would seem like a good idea to do.” Jessica said and opened the envelope and took out a folded piece of paper. The blonde idol unfolded it and turned it a bit before she read it. Jessica’s eyes widened slightly, the sight picking on Tiffany’s curiosity.

“Kiss Tiffany’s cheek.” Jessica read out loud.

The radio studio filled with silence. Tiffany’s eyes were wide as ping-pong balls and Jessica just tried not to show her real feelings about the mission and just stared in front of her at the other idol.

“What is this?” Jessica suddenly asked and broke the awkward silence.

“Did the listeners choose you to do that mission?” Tiffany asked when she had recovered from her shock.

Yes, it’s actually says ‘Jessica kiss Tiffany’s cheek’” Jessica said.

“Oh,” Tiffany said.

“But, this radio isn’t viewable so I don’t know how the listeners will be able to know if I fulfilled it.” Jessica said and furrowed her eyebrows.

“A picture will be taken.” Tiffany said.

“Ah,” Jessica nodded her head understanding.

“So, should we do it?”

“The listeners wants it so yes, I guess so.”

“If anyone has any protests about this please say so now.” Tiffany jokingly said and saw Jessica slowly standing up from her seat. The blonde idol looked around her before her eyes landed outside the radio studio.

“Is it okay that I do it now?” Jessica asked. They got the PD’s nod of approval and Jessica went over to Tiffany’s side.

“Which cheek do you want me to smear my lip-gloss over?”

“Gosh, that sounds so gross.” Tiffany said and laughed. “Just kiss whichever.”

Jessica leaned down and the both idols noticed a man with a camera had suddenly appeared. They both knew that this was going to happen for real and Jessica leaned closer to Tiffany’s cheek.

Her lips finally came in contact with Tiffany’s cheeks. A few pictures were taken and Jessica pulled away when the man with the camera had lowered the photo-taking-machine. She looked at Tiffany’s face and noticed Tiffany was bright red after the small kiss on her cheek.

“Oh, listeners are commenting.” Tiffany said. Jessica snapped her head towards the monitor in front of Tiffany and tried to read what they were saying.

“They’re telling me to return the favor and kiss your cheek too.” Tiffany mumbled.

Silence filled between the two idols.

“I’m sorry, but is this some kiss party?” Jessica asked.

“They’re saying that when you sang it sounded like you really wanted someone to kiss you.”



“Well, you know, I just got into the emotion of the song. I don’t really want to be kissed.”

“Lies, every girl wants to be kissed.”

“Yeah, but…”


“Not by you.” Jessica started laughing after her statement. Tiffany frowned and looked towards the PD and saw him laughing together with the scriptwriter and their managers. Tiffany huffed a sigh and turned to Jessica that now had stopped laughing.

“Dude that hurt.” Tiffany said and slapped Jessica’s arm.

The grin disappeared from Jessica’s lips and she looked apologetic at Tiffany. “Sorry.” Jessica said.

Tiffany looked away from the blonde idol at the screen in front of her. She coughed awkwardly and looked back at Jessica again.

“So– “

“Just kiss me so we can move on to the next thing.” Jessica said and turned her left cheek towards Tiffany. Tiffany wide eyed looked from Jessica to the PD and scriptwriter and back to the blonde idol beside her. Embarrassed and leaned closer to the blonde and checked in the corner of her eye how everyone reacted. The man with the camera was already ready and Tiffany screwed her eyes shut and pressed her lips against Jessica’s cheek.

Jessica felt her ears and cheeks get hot by the contact of Tiffany’s lips against on her cheek. She focused her eyes on the floor and let the cameraman snap the photos before Tiffany retreated and Jessica could finally return to her seat and calm her fast beating heart.

“So, the pictures from the mission will be uploaded on the homepage so if listeners want to confirm if Jessica-sshi really went through with the mission you can check there.” Tiffany said and glanced at Jessica that now had put on her headphones and looked ready to go back to DJ-ing.

“God, I don’t really kiss my friends.” Tiffany commented when Jessica was ready.

“Really? I kiss my female friends all the time.” Jessica said.

“Oh. Now I don’t feel that special anymore.”

“Sorry, honey, but you aren’t that special.” Jessica said and laughed to make her statement seem more like joke. But in truth Jessica wanted herself to say it just to convince herself that Tiffany wasn’t special to her.


Jessica heard the roar of the audience as she stood beside the stage and waited for her turn to get up there. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth and started to lightly jump from side to side to make her nerves calm down. She found it slightly funny how she always was a bit nervous about going up on stage even though she had been an idol for almost more than two years now. She thought she at least should be used by it now.

She glanced beside her and saw the red haired idol she was going to go up on stage with. Tiffany had her hands clasped together, her eyes were closed, and it looked like she was praying. Jessica had found out that Tiffany always did this before she went up on stage, and now after performing together on stage for the third time Jessica had started to find it cute.

“Okay, we’ll now welcome the new duo project J2T.” The MC said and Jessica and Tiffany went up on the stage.

Jessica her eyes fixed on the stage floor, the music started to play and she put the mic in front of her mouth and listened how her tone fitted with the music. While she sang her part she danced over to Tiffany, circling her hand around the other idol’s waist before she let go and stood to the side as they began singing the chorus together.

Jessica turned her head towards Tiffany as she sang and the red haired idol smiled at her. The blonde returned the smile and they began moving towards each other while singing. The first chorus came to an end and Jessica danced away from Tiffany while the girl sang her part of her song.

While Jessica danced on her part of the stage Tiffany watched her while trying to display the emotions of the song.

“But I can’t stop myself from feeling

To let you go would be too much for me to take”

When Tiffany sang the last line of her part she moved closer to Jessica, grabbing the blonde idol’s arm and they turned towards each other and began singing the chorus again.

The song went into an instrumental break where Tiffany and Jessica danced together before they stopped in the middle of the song while facing each other.

“I can’t help thinking

When I’m look into your eyes” Jessica sang while staring into Tiffany’s eyes.

“How much I need you.” Tiffany continued.

“It’s so hard to hide” Jessica turned away from Tiffany to sing the high note before they turned towards each other and sang the last part of the song together.

When the song finished the fans roared and the two idols bowed before they started making their way down from the stage. Jessica felt her legs and hands shake as she walked down the stairs from the stage, she had to grab onto the railing as she stumbled.

Tiffany that was walking in front of the blonde looked behind her when she heard something didn’t seem right. She saw that Jessica’s manager had gone over to the blonde’s side to help her walk in her shaken state. Tiffany furrowed her eyebrows by how weak Jessica looked.

“Are you okay?” Tiffany asked and walked beside the blonde idol and the manager as they towards their locker room.

Jessica could only nod in answer and Tiffany had doubtful expression on her face.


“I don’t know, I just started to shake after we had finished the song.” Jessica said when her stylist asked what had happened with her. Tiffany sat on the opposite side of the room and watched the blonde idol that was seated on the couch eating the chocolate bar her manager had given her.

“It’s probably because you don’t eat.” Jessica’s stylist said. The comment made Jessica frown and she bit down on the chocolate in her hand.

“Or maybe it’s an after effect after the emotions she put into the performance. She did it really well today.” Tiffany’s stylist pointed out.

Tiffany looked from Jessica’s stylist to her own with a raised eyebrow. The blonde idol looked surprised by the praising and finished munching on the bite in her mouth.


“Yeah, it looks like you have feelings for Tiffany when you’re up on the stage and singing.”

Jessica began coughing by the comment and Tiffany looked wide eyed at her stylist. The stylist however looked innocently at the blonde idol that now glared at her.

“I don’t have feelings for her!” Jessica protested when she had gained her composure back.

“I just said it looks like it when you sing.” The stylist defended herself.

“Whatever.” Jessica said and slumped further down in her seat while eating her chocolate bar. Tiffany raised an eyebrow by Jessica’s reaction, especially when she noticed Jessica’s ears that were bright red. And the red head had learned from her time together with Jessica that the blonde usually got red ears when she got embarrassed.


A knock on the door to the waiting room made the three idols that were occupying the room look up. One of their managers went to open the door and two other girls on the other side got revealed. Both of them bowed their heads when the door was opened while greeting the manager.

“We just wanted to come by to give out this.” Tiffany said and held out the album. The cover was of Jessica back hugging Tiffany. The blonde’s chin rested on Tiffany’s shoulder, her eyes was closed and Tiffany was slightly leaning into Jessica’s embrace while smiling.

“Oh, it’s the J2T group.” One of the girls inside the waiting room stood up from her seat and made her way to the two girls standing by the door. Both of them bowed to the taller girl and she grinned by their action.

“You’re still my sunbaes in this industry you know.” The taller girl said.

“Yeah, but when it comes to being in a group you’re our sunbae.” Jessica said and grinned at the taller girl. The taller girl nodded her head at what Jessica said and finally took the album Tiffany was holding out towards her.

“Did you sign it?” The taller girl asked.

“Of course.” Tiffany replied.

“Good, we have a Tiffany fan here.” The taller girl said.

“Omo, is Tiffany unnie here?!” They heard an excited voice said. The taller girl smiled and stepped to the side to let her group members see the two idols that had come to visit them. Tiffany and Jessica saw another girl inside the waiting room that looked wide eyed their way.

“Oh my God, it’s Tiffany unnie!” The girl squealed and flew up from her seat and went to her group member’s side and grabbed Tiffany’s hand and began shaking it.

“You’re so great on the stage. And not only that, I’ve seen you on other events as well. You’re a really good role model for other people.” The girl began saying while continued to shake Tiffany’s hand.

Jessica looked at the two other idols. Her eyes went to the hands that were holding Tiffany’s and her eyebrow raised. She looked at the other member of the trio that smiled upon her member’s obvious affection for the red head.

A frown appeared on Jessica’s lips and she crossed her arms and waited for her duo partner to finish talking to her admirer. Whenever Tiffany smiled and nodded to what the girl said to her Jessica rolled her eyes, and when Tiffany thanked the girl when getting praised Jessica held back a sigh.

“You two were really good on stage today.” The member that first had come to great them said, making Jessica turn her head towards her.

“Ah, thank you.” Jessica said and smiled.

“But you were also good.” Tiffany said.

“But unnie was better!” The girl that was still holding Tiffany’s hands said. The red head smiled at the girl while Jessica gave the girl a weird look.

“Feeling lonely when you don’t get any affection?” The taller girl asked. Jessica turned to her, shaking her head at the question and turned back to the two girls beside her that was immersed in a conversation.

“Not, really. I’m fine with the fans I have.” Jessica said and smiled. The taller girl nodded and continued to watch her group member that was still talking non-stop with the red haired idol.


“The Leg Goddesses is really nice.” Tiffany said when they were walking back to their waiting room. Jessica didn’t say anything and had her eyes focused forward. The red haired girl looked down at the album in her hands, they had gotten their album as well and the members’ signatures were on the front.

Sooyoung, Yoona, Seohyun

Tiffany smiled and looked at Jessica that still didn’t give any sign of hearing what she said. Tiffany frowned and smacked Jessica’s arm with the album, making the blonde yelp and hold the spot where she’s been hit and glared at the red head.

“What?” Jessica asked.

“The Leg Goddesses, they’re nice.” Tiffany said.

Jessica furrowed her eyebrows by Tiffany’s statement.


“Especially Seohyun.”

Jessica rolled her eyes and turned her head forward again. She thought back to the younger girl that had showed her admiration for Tiffany so openly. She had heard that Seohyun usually was really quiet and composed girl, but that image had crumbled when she had seen how she had been towards Tiffany.

“You only like her because she’s your fan.” Jessica pointed out.

“No, I like her because she’s really hard working and gives her all on stage.” Tiffany corrected the blonde.

Jessica frowned by the comment. She clenched her hands that were inside her jacket pockets.

“Okay, so you like younger girls, I see.” The comment had left Jessica’s lips faster than what she had wanted. When she heard Tiffany stop walking beside her she regretted what she had said immediately. The blonde also stopped in her tracks and slowly turned around to face the red head.

Tiffany glared at her with hurtful eyes, Jessica wasn’t surprised but she bit down on her lower lip by the gaze.

“That was really unnecessary.” Tiffany mumbled. “Especially when you know it’s not true.”

Jessica opened her mouth to say something but didn’t get the chance to when Tiffany walked past her, bumping into her shoulder in the process after leaving the blonde to think about her actions.

Jessica closed her eyes and let out a sigh. She wondered why she had said that. She sounded like a jealous girlfriend.

Jessica opened her eyes when she had gotten familiar with the feeling she had felt back at The Leg Goddesses’ waiting room, the same feeling had also built up when Tiffany had been praising the younger idol.

The blonde bit down on her lower lip. She didn’t like this feeling at all.

Through work and hate we'll love part 6

“Thank you!” The two idols bowed and thanked the staff members in unison after they had finished their filming of the music video. Both Jessica and Tiffany felt so exhausted after the long filming hours that they felt like they needed to crawl back to the van.

But the two of them kept standing on their two feet and they raised their heads up after they had thanked everyone. They began following their managers that motioned for them to hurry up.

“Are you hungry?” Jessica asked the red haired idol that walked beside her. Tiffany gave her a weird look before she grabbed the coat her manager handed her.

“Why do you care?” Was Tiffany’s reply before she followed the manager out of the filming set and towards the van.

Jessica frowned upon the reply and stretched her arms behind her for the stylist to put on her coat before she also started making her way to the van.

“Jeez, I was only asking.” Jessica muttered before she entered the van.


The blonde looked up from the script in her hand at the other girl that sat with her in the waiting room. Her eyes landed on the red head that had her eyes focused on the script in her hand. When Tiffany seemed to sense someone was looking at her she looked up at met Jessica’s sympathetic gaze.

“Don’t.” The red-haired girl commented and made Jessica look questioning at her. Tiffany sighed upon how oblivious Jessica seemed to be.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Tiffany said and turned her attention back to the script in her hand.


“I don’t need your f*cking pity.” Tiffany said before Jessica had even the chance to ask. The blonde idol clamped her mouth shut and averted her gaze to the script in her hands instead.

“You pitying me won’t make it easier for me to stop loving you.” Tiffany later said. Jessica looked up from the script and she couldn’t help but look a bit sympathetically at the red haired girl.

“I’m sorr–“

“I told you to stop, didn’t I?!” Tiffany shouted and slammed the script down on the table. Jessica bit down on her lower lip while Tiffany sent deadly glares towards her. The red-haired girl was heaving heavily after her outburst, and Jessica could only look apologetic at her.

“You’re stupid.” Tiffany muttered and took her script and went out of the waiting room.

Jessica released a breath and stared at the door Tiffany had closed after her before she had stormed out. After a few seconds the blonde figured it was better to focus on her own thing and went back to memorize the script.


“I heard…” Jessica looked up from her plate of food at the brunette girl that sat in front of her. Jessica cocked an eyebrow and Taeyeon smiled at her.

“Hyoyeon told me you’re acting less harsh towards Tiffany.” Taeyeon said.

Jessica’s lips formed a hard line and she looked away from her friend. Taeyeon continued to grin and took a bite of her food.

“You listened to my advice.” The brunette girl said.

“No, I didn’t.” Jessica said and earned a questioning gaze. “I’m listening to my guilt.”

Taeyeon’s eyebrow raised and looked questioning at the idol. The blonde idol let out a sigh and placed her fork on the plate before she leaned back in her seat and met her friend’s gaze.

“Tiffany told me something, and now I’m feeling guilty.” Jessica said and bit down on her lower lip.

Taeyeon nodded understanding, her eyebrows furrowed and she looked back at Jessica again.

“May I ask what she told you?”

“I don’t think I’m allowed to tell you. It was rather private.”

“Ah,” Taeyeon nodded understanding. A smile formed on her lips and she took another bite on her food and finished chewing it before she continued. “You two seem to be getting closer when you’re telling private things to each other.”

The composer’s statement left a frown on Jessica’s lips. The idol thought back to what Tiffany had told her and exactly how Tiffany had reacted to it, the mix of anger and sadness in the other girl had left a big impact in the blonde girl.

“By your expression it doesn’t seem like it was something good.” Taeyeon said when she noticed Jessica’s solemn expression.

The idol snapped out of her thoughts and turned back to Taeyeon. She smiled bitterly and looked down at her unfinished food. Her appetite was lost and she hadn’t even eaten half of the food yet.

“If it had been something good I wouldn’t have felt guilty, right?” Jessica asked.

Taeyeon nodded knowingly. “Why don’t you apologize if you feel guilty?”

“She got angry and hit me when I did it.”

Taeyeon’s eyes slightly widened by Jessica’s comment. The blonde idol laughed and waved off Taeyeon’s shocked expression.

“But it was not in my face. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to show my face in public.”

“Oh,” Taeyeon relaxed in her seat, the composer’s eyebrows furrowed and she looked at Jessica again.

“So she’s angry?”


“And you?”

“Feeling guilty.”

“What exactly happened between you to make you feel like that?” Taeyeon sighed and propped her chin on her hand. Jessica shrugged her shoulders and averted her gaze to her plate. She bit down on her lower lip and looked up at her friend, contemplating whether she should tell her or not.

“I made her fall, and she got hurt in the process.”

“She’s injured?” Taeyeon’s eyes widened.

Jessica smiled when she realized Taeyeon didn’t quite get what she meant. The idol nodded her head in answer.

After all, even though it wasn’t any visible injuries on the red haired idol, Jessica had actually seen the idol break down and witnessed how much in pain Tiffany was. And even though no one saw it, but Tiffany’s heart was pretty injured, and Jessica knew by the tears the red head had shed on her shoulder.


“Give this to Tiffany.” The manager handed a water bottle to Jessica and the blonde looked down on it. She didn’t protest and made her way to the room beside the practice room she remembered she had seen Tiffany last time.

Like she thought she found Tiffany inside the room on the couch. The blonde idol made her way to the red-haired woman that sat on the couch, occupying herself with a book. The hand with the water bottle in hand was reached out towards the seated woman.

Tiffany looked up from her book with a raised eyebrow she looked at the water bottle Jessica was offering her. She shifted her eyes from the bottle to the woman that was holding it, the blonde woman lightly shook the bottle to tell Tiffany to take it.

“Are you serious?” Tiffany asked and closed her book.

Jessica lowered the bottle with a confused expression on her face.

“I told you to stop with that.” Tiffany scolded.

“I’m not allowed to give you water?” Jessica asked and looked at the bottle.

“No, it’s considered as a nice act and that won’t make me stop loving you.” Tiffany said and opened her book to start reading again.

Jessica furrowed her eyebrows and looked at the bottle and back to Tiffany again. She sighed and opened the bottle and held it over Tiffany’s head before she titled it to the side, making the clear liquid pour all over Tiffany’s head.

Tiffany’s mouth was hanging open in shock as she looked up at Jessica that tossed the empty bottle to the side. Jessica shrugged her shoulders and turned on her heel.

“Yah! Jessica!” Tiffany shouted after the leaving blonde.

Jessica didn’t respond to the call and made her way out of the room and left Tiffany to take care of her soaked hair.

Tiffany huffed an annoyed sigh and looked down on her clothes that also had gotten wet. Seeing that some droplets even had landed on the book in her hands and screamed out in frustration and threw the book in front of her.

She was very angry, but her feelings still hadn’t disappeared.

Tiffany hated how Jessica would look at her with pity, and how the blonde girl randomly did nice things to her. It made her heart flutter and she could feel her hopes getting up, only to crash when she reminded herself of what Jessica actually thought of her.

Tiffany let out an annoyed sigh and got up from her seat on the couch and went to her handbag and took out some tissues to dry herself up after Jessica had drenched her in the water she had offered. The red hair frowned by the memory of the water running down her head, to her face and onto her clothes and book.

This is the real Jessica. She’s not nice, nothing for you to like Tiffany reminded herself of how Jessica usually is.

But then, the mean and evil Jessica that had sputtered bad comments about her is the Jessica she had fallen for first. This nice side had just recently showed up, and had only made Tiffany think of as a sweet addition to Jessica’s personality. It showed her that Jessica had a heart as well.

A heart you’ll never get.

Tiffany clenched her hand that held the tissue, crumbling the small paper in her hand. She threw it across the room and felt the tears burn behind her eyes when she once again realized how unrequited her feelings are and will probably forever be.

The red head sniffled and sat down on the couch. The tears run down her cheeks and she roughly removed them with her hands, just like how she wanted to do with her feelings for the blonde idol.

“How can she make me feel happy, angry and sad at the same time?” Tiffany asked herself. Her question got eaten by the silence in the room. The fast beating of her heart by the mere thought of the blonde girl was her answer.


The red haired idol sighed tiredly while she slumped down on the floor. Her hand reached out for the water bottle beside her and drank a few gulps from it before she placed it back down on the floor. She let out another sigh and laid down on her back on the floor.

She heard she shuffling of feet coming towards her, and a hand was brought into view for her. With an eyebrow raised she looked at the owner of the hand. A blonde girl, with her hair tied up in a ponytail stood in front of her.

Tiffany now glared at Jessica’s hand, the blonde idol looked confused at her.

“Stop acting so nice!” Tiffany shouted and kicked Jessica’s shin before she got up on her feet by herself.

Jessica let out a groan of pain and bent over to hold her hurt shin. The blonde idol sent a glare towards the red head that had walked away to the other side of the dance studio.

“You don’t think I’ve enough bruises from you abusing me?!” Jessica shouted angrily and released her leg she had been holding.

Tiffany didn’t say anything and just stood with her back facing her. The blonde idol sighed and averted her gaze to the mirror wall, checking out her own reflection before she turned to the red head.

“Let’s continue practice. I don’t want to be here the whole night.” Jessica sighed and went over to the cd-player to turn on the music.


Tiffany let out a yawn and stretched her arms above her head when she entered the practice room. She noticed the boxes of food the managers had gotten her were still there. Jessica and her food were nowhere in sight and the red head walked up to her food and grabbed one of the boxes.

Her eyes widened slightly when she saw the name on the box she held. She looked down at the two other boxes and noticed it wasn’t the same name on them. A sigh left Tiffany’s lips and she tightened her hold on the box in her hand before she marched her way out of the practice room in search of her duo partner.

She caught Jessica’s voice further down the hallway, and Tiffany went straight there when she knew where the blonde was.

She arrived at a smaller room, and behind the closed door she heard Jessica sing. However, the red head didn’t care about whether Jessica was practicing or not and she slammed the door open, shocking the idol that was occupying the room.

“Tiffany,” Jessica said and lowered the mic she had in her hand from her mouth.

“I told you to stop acting nice towards me!” Tiffany shouted at the blonde idol before she threw the box of food at Jessica.

The blonde’s eyes widened when the box opened and the content fell out. A hand was clasped over Jessica’s mouth and nose and she started to wave her hand in front of her like she wanted to tell Tiffany that it wasn’t the case.

“I don’t need your f*cking food. I’ll be fine on my own. If I want more I can go and buy it myself, I don’t need you to give your food to me, you stupid air-head. You think it’s easy for me to forget about my feelings for you when you’re acting nice all the freaking time and making my heart think I might actually have a chance with you?!” Tiffany continued to ramble and was oblivious to the blonde idol that had gotten paler and sunk down on the floor while still shaking her head to what Tiffany was saying.

The red haired girl stared at Jessica that still was covering her mouth and nose. Her eyebrows furrowed by how weird Jessica seemed to act and she looked down on the food that was scattered on the floor and back to Jessica.

“What is wrong with you?” Tiffany asked and looked more panicked at Jessica. The blonde pointed on the food, then at herself and shook her head.

“Wait, you’re allergic?!” Tiffany shouted when she figured out what the other idol was trying to tell her.

Jessica nodded her head before she finally sunk down to the floor completely.

“F*ck.” Tiffany cursed and went over to Jessica’s side and fished out her cellphone to call one of the managers to pick Jessica up.


Tiffany looked down at her fidgeting fingers. The beeping monitors echoed in the small hospital room, filling in the silence between the two girls that were inside. Tiffany took a glance at the blonde girl in the hospital bed. She sighed and slumped her shoulders.

“Cucumber allergy.” Tiffany finally spoke the first two words between them since they had come to the hospital. The now much better Jessica nodded her head.

“What kind of allergy is that?” Tiffany asked.

Jessica shrugged her shoulders.

“An allergy that makes it impossible for me to eat cucumbers.”

“And being in the same room as them.” Tiffany added.

Jessica smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah,”

The red head furrowed her eyebrows. She lightly shook her head and averted her gaze to her hands. How in the world would she have known Jessica had that kind of allergy? And how could she possibly know that the managers had made a mistake and marked the food box with Jessica’s name and the blonde had just left it there for anyone to eat because she couldn’t eat it? It was almost impossible for her.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were allergic?” Tiffany asked with a frown.

“You didn’t exactly give me a chance, you know. You threw the food at me and I reacted to it faster than what I wanted to and you were busy rambling about how you didn’t need to eat my food.”

Tiffany blushed embarrassed and looked away from Jessica’s eyes. The red head clutched the fabric of her sweater and kept her gaze at the floor.

“But I’m okay now.” She heard Jessica say. The red haired idol bit down on her lower lip before she released it together with a sigh.

“But I’m not.” Tiffany mumbled.


Tiffany waited for Jessica’s apologize that usually came out from the blonde’s mouth that left her angry. But nothing came and Tiffany dared to look up at the blonde girl on the hospital bed. Her eyes took in the sight of a zoned out Jessica that stared right in front of her.

Whatever it was that had occupied the blonde’s thoughts, it had left her with a very gloomy expression that tugged a bit at Tiffany’s heart, it made the red head want to wrap Jessica in a hug and take that gloomy expression away and replace it with a heartwarming smile instead.

But Tiffany knew she had no right to hug the blonde. Even less being the source of Jessica’s happiness.

Through work and hate we'll love part 5

Tiffany had been avoiding her. And it’s not like her usual i-hate-you-leave-me-alone avoidance. Jessica had noticed something was very off with the other idol, and it bothered her. She was used to her and Tiffany’s conversations that involved mostly hateful remarks against each other. But every time Jessica said something negatively to the other girl she found Tiffany silent. She was so used to get a witty comeback from the red-head that she had started to find Tiffany’s silence strange.

That’s why Jessica now sat in the practice room, she had just said something about Tiffany’s hairstyle the girl had had during a talk-show, and waited for her to say something back. But nothing came. Tiffany was silent, sipping on her water and just staring out into space in front of her. Jessica was bothered, because Tiffany never ignored her like this.

“Yah. I’m talking to you here.” Jessica said and took an empty water bottle and threw it towards the other idol.

The water bottle landed before Tiffany’s feet, and the red haired idol snapped out of her thoughts. Tiffany’s eyes landed on Jessica’s form, and the blonde motioned for her to say something, but Tiffany only shook her head, went to pick up her bag and went out of the practice studio.

Jessica was left in the practice studio with her mouth agape. Tiffany didn’t say anything. She had been completely silent.

Huffing an annoyed sigh Jessica pushed herself up on her feet and went to the CD-player. Whatever was wrong with Tiffany she thought the managers had to take care of it, she wasn’t going to take care of the other girl’s problems.


The blonde idol walked into the waiting room and slumped down on the couch. She let out a tired sigh and stretched her body out on the
furniture and watched her manager and stylist come inside as well. The two of them were in the middle of chatting and Jessica closed her eyes by the sound.

Jessica felt herself dozing off and the blonde girl let her body and mind succumb to sleep while the chatter was starting to sound more distant.

Jessica had just fallen asleep when she heard ruffling sound near her head. She furrowed her eyebrows and slowly opened her eyes, only to be met with wide brown orbs that stared shocked back to her.

Seeing the red hair that framed the girl’s face Jessica could make out the person to be Tiffany, and the blonde idol looked quizzically at the other girl.

“What are–“ Jessica stopped her question when she saw Tiffany gather her jacket in her arms and grabbed her bag before the red haired idol quickly moved to a chair in front of a mirror.

Jessica raised an eyebrow and continued to look confused at Tiffany’s way. The other idol buried her face into her jacket like she was hiding her face. Jessica only shook her head at Tiffany’s weird behavior and went back to rest a bit and didn’t mind to bother about the red head.


“So Tiffany-sshi, which is the next group that will perform?” Jessica turned to the fellow MC. To her fear she saw Tiffany was spacing out. Jessica smiled and looked back at the camera.

“I’m pretty sure the group is amazing to make MC Tiffany space out.” Jessica said and nudged the red haired idol.

Tiffany snapped out of her trance and shook her head a bit shocked. The idol got a small blush on her cheeks and she looked down at her cue-cards before she looked back up at the camera and smiled.

“Ah, yes, The Leg Goddesses with Shimmering Light will be the last performance for today. And me and Jessica-sshi will have to say goodbye and good night.” Tiffany said her last line and Jessica could let out a relieved sigh when the girl had gotten her mind back into the show.

The two idols stayed back to watch the last performance before they headed back to the waiting room after finishing their job as a guest MCs. Jessica waited for Tiffany as she watched the red haired girl thank everyone of the staff members and the idols that had participated in the show.

When she saw Tiffany was heading towards the waiting room she went up to the red haired idol.

“Why are you always spacing out?” Jessica asked her.

Tiffany stopped in her tracks and looked at Jessica. The blonde had a frown on her lips.

“You’re always spacing out these days, during practice, rehearsals, even when we’re on live shows you’re spacing out. Get your head together, we’ll be both dragged down if you’re losing focus.” Jessica scolded.

Jessica waited for some kind of reply from Tiffany. But The red head just averted her gaze from Jessica’s and turned on her heel and went towards the waiting room.

The blonde idol huffed an annoyed sigh and just followed Tiffany. She didn’t feel like bothering about it and thought that probably the managers would take care of it once they noticed Tiffany’s behavior.


The blonde idol yawned and covered her gaping mouth with her hand as she stopped outside the practice room. She shook her head like she could shake the tiredness off but it didn’t help that much and she stretched out her hand towards the doorknob and twisted it before she entered.

Her eyes landed on the choreographer that stretched on the floor in the middle of the dance studio. Jessica’s eyes scanned the rest of the room, expecting to see a red head being there as well, but the choreographer was alone.

“Where’s Tiffany?” Jessica asked and walked up to Hyoyeon.

“I don’t know.” Hyoyeon simply stated.

A frown appeared on Jessica’s lips and she looked around the dance studio that was empty of people except for them.

Tiffany usually was early for dance practice. The red head usually came an hour or half an hour earlier depending on when she could get off her last schedule. Jessica had found the red head diligently dancing every time she had come to practice, but these days Tiffany had always come late.

Jessica picked out her phone from her coat pocket and checked the time. Jessica was already thirty minutes late, meaning Tiffany was unusual late. The idol sighed and pocketed her phone before she turned to Hyoyeon again.

“What shall we do today?” Jessica asked the choreographer.

“Dance.” Hyoyeon answered.

Jessica sighed.

“Tiffany isn’t here.”

“I know.”

Jessica sighed once again and turned away from the choreographer. She nibbled on her lower lip and wrapped her fingers around her cellphone. She contemplated on whether she should contact Tiffany’s manager or Tiffany and ask about the other idol’s whereabouts

The idol sighed once more and glanced back at the choreographer. Hyoyeon had now stood up from her seat on the floor and was warming up by jumping a bit. The choreographer met Jessica’s gaze and she looked quizzically at her.

“Aren’t you going to practice?” Hyoyeon asked.

Jessica shook her head and began moving towards the door.

“Not right now.” The idol said and opened the door to the dance studio.

“Yah, Jessica.”

“Sorry, Hyoyeon. If Tiffany shows up call me” Jessica said and left before the choreographer had managed to run after her and hold her back.


Jessica pressed the doorbell beside the door of the apartment she knew Tiffany lived at. The blonde idol waited while staring down at the floor. She shifted impatiently in her posture and looked up at the door again. She frowned and lifted her hand to ring the doorbell again, only to stop when the door flung open.

“It’s enough to ring it one time.” The red haired girl that stood on the other side said. Jessica lowered her hand and scowled at the other idol.

“You sure took your time to answer the door. What were you doing? Pooping?” Jessica asked.

Tiffany rolled her eyes at the blonde idol and turned her back at her and walked inside the apartment. Because Tiffany hadn’t closed the door in her face she took it as she could walk inside and so Jessica followed the red head.

Tiffany went to the living room and Jessica followed right behind. The blonde idol stopped in her tracks when she saw Tiffany went over to the coffee table and picked up a remote control and turned off the TV that had been showing some soap opera.  Jessica furrowed her eyebrows by the sight and averted her gaze back to the red head that now had turned towards her.

“What are you doing here?” Tiffany asked with a sigh.

Jessica frowned and crossed her arms.

“I should be the one asking that. We have practice you know. But you don’t look like someone that’s going to show up for it.” Jessica said and nodded towards Tiffany’s attire. The red haired idol was wearing PJ pants and a tank top. Once again Tiffany rolled her eyes and averted her gaze away from Jessica.

“I’m not going.” Tiffany said while her eyes stared at the bookshelf.

Jessica looked where Tiffany was looking before she turned back to the red head.

“Why not?”

“Just because.” Tiffany said and turned her back at Jessica.

The blonde idol clenched her teeth and moved forward to grab Tiffany’s wrist. Her hand wrapped around the skinny wrist and spun the red haired idol around.

“Why– “ The rest of Jessica’s question fell back into her throat when she caught Tiffany’s tear filled eyes. Jessica gulped when she noticed the hurt Tiffany was looking at her with and the blonde had to step back in shock.

“It’s because of you that I’m not going.” Tiffany mumbled.

Jessica slumped her shoulders. This was new for her, the two of them had never made each other cry, not matter how harsh their hateful comments towards each other had been, it’s still had been on a level that none of them wouldn’t start crying. Jessica started to get worried. What had she done to make this girl hurt so much to the point of not wanting to see her?

“H-have I done something?” Jessica asked a bit carefully.

Tiffany laughed bitterly and looked away from Jessica’s face. The blonde bit down on her lower lip when she noticed Tiffany’s first tears escaped her eyes. The red haired idol looked back at her, still with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“It’s because I love you.” Tiffany confessed.

Jessica felt her whole world stop by that confession. The blood in her face drained and she gaped shocked at the red haired girl before her. Never in her life had someone come with that kind of confession to her. Sure, she had fans screaming that they love her every time she went up on stage or showed her face in public, but that was different. She was pretty sure all of them loved her mostly because of the image she had put up as an idol. If they were to know her off stage she was sure their feelings might sway a bit.

A sniffle from the girl in front of her made Jessica come back to the present. She looked guiltily at the red haired girl that glared at her.
Jessica was loss at words and she looked at Tiffany’s tears that continued to stream down her face like no tomorrow.

“You don’t even know how hard it is for me to be with you. You don’t know how hard it is for me to have these feelings for you while I know you don’t even want to look at me. It’s f*cking hard knowing you will never even try to love me.” Tiffany said and pushed Jessica’s shoulders, making the blonde girl stumble backwards.

Jessica continued to be mum and watched as Tiffany wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Jessica sighed and averted her gaze down to the floor.

“It’s hard loving someone that will never love you back.” Tiffany cried and covered her face.

Jessica bit down on her lower lip and looked up at the crying girl before her. She felt guilty, even though she knew she shouldn’t as it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t help that Tiffany had fallen for her, and she couldn’t force her heart to feel the same.

She released her lip and looked at the sobbing girl in front of her. She wasn’t even sure if she had the right to comfort Tiffany. When she opened her mouth to speak, she felt her lower lip quiver.

“Why don’t you hate me instead?” Jessica asked.

Tiffany sent a glare towards the blonde girl.  She laughed bitterly at the question.

“Hate you? Don’t you think I’ve tried? I’ve tried to detest every piece of your being, only to have me break down in tears when I realized my heart won’t listen to me.”

Jessica bit her lower lip again and lowered her gaze. The red-haired girl’s sniffles filled the apartment. And Jessica felt completely helpless.

“What is there even to love in me?” Jessica mumbled.

Tiffany laughed again.

“Ask your thousands of fans that. Because I sure don’t know! If I was to decide I wouldn’t love you, because there’s barely anything to love.”

Jessica bit down on her lower lip again. Letting each word sink into her being, feeling them like daggers to her heart. She deserved this, because making people cry wasn’t something she could accept of herself.

“I’m sorry.” Jessica whispered. Tiffany cocked an eyebrow at the apology.


“I’m sorry that you love me.” Jessica said and bit down on her lower lip.

Her words only made Tiffany cry even more. The red head walked up to the blonde; punching her in the chest before grabbing a hold of her collar and shaking her body.

“You’re so stupid, so stupid. I don’t even know why I could fall for an idiot like you.” Tiffany said while shaking Jessica’s body. The blonde doing nothing to stop her; just letting Tiffany vent out all her anger on her.

After a few minutes of anger release Tiffany started to grow tired and she stopped shaking Jessica’s body. Her tears hadn’t stopped and with her hands tightly clutching Jessica’s shirt she leaned against the blonde shoulder while her crying continued.

Jessica clenched her jaw when she felt Tiffany using her shoulder to cry on. She could almost feel Tiffany’s agony and it made her sad. She took a deep inhale as she braved against her own tears and let Tiffany use her as a supporting pillar.

The two girls stood in Tiffany’s living room. The sobs from the red-haired girl filled the room, and Jessica felt as her heart break by the thought of that it was her fault Tiffany was in this state.


Jessica listened to the rain that hit against the window of the bedroom.  She let out a sigh and turned to the girl that was sleeping beside her. After Tiffany had cried for more than half an hour, and also made sure that Jessica would have some bruises for tomorrow, the red-haired girl had collapsed to the floor out of exhaustion.

Even though Jessica knew she didn’t have to she had helped Tiffany to her bed and even waited for Tiffany to fall asleep. And when Tiffany had fallen asleep Jessica had stayed some more, just to make sure Tiffany would be okay.

Seeing that Tiffany was sleeping soundly Jessica made her way out of the bed. When she moved she noticed how some parts of her arms and chest hurt, probably from Tiffany hitting her. Jessica smiled bitterly and clenched her teeth together as she stood up from the bed. After all, her pain was probably nothing compared to what Tiffany was feeling.

The blonde girl glanced at the girl that was left on the bed. A sigh left Jessica’s lips and she grabbed the blanket that lied on the end of the bed and covered Tiffany’s body with it. With one last glance at the red haired idol Jessica at last left, in hope of Tiffany’s heart would heal from the heart break she had caused.


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